#2442 - Ehsan Ahmad

[00:00] Joe Rogan podcast check it out the Joe Rogan experience train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. Hey, fella. Hey, good to be back Joe. Good to see you as always. Yeah, this time this time I have something to like actually promote. Well, you're always promoting so I mean, [00:23] Any kind of appearance is sort of a promotion. Right. Because you're promoting, the audience gets to see you. Right. It was so funny because it got me thinking. So I started watching Patrice's Opie and Anthony appearances because there's a list of them on Spotify. And what was so funny to me was like, you know how they have these group of mentally disabled people that they kind of fuck with? Opie and Anthony? Yeah. Yeah. It was rough. Like a carousel. It's kind of mean. It's kind of horrible. Yeah. [00:53] It's kind of like, ooh, I'm kind of glad we're past that. But what made me laugh is every single one of them at the end of the thing was like, and here's my website. I had a website, and I was like, damn, I've been on the Joe Rogan experience twice, and I don't even have a website. You didn't have a website? I didn't have a website. This is the first time I had a website. Wow. What did you do? Did you make it yourself? [01:14] No, I realize like, oh, I just got to pay people to do stuff like that. That's out of my wheelhouse of like things I can do. Ironically, I'm terrible with technology for a guy who looks like me. There's some things you could do like Squarespace has a great setup. It's pretty easy to do. Yeah, but that's – I think that's just pure – it's like –

[01:33] Pure laziness almost on my end for sure. And a little bit like I spend so much time on my brain space and this is dedicated to my jokes. I kind of shut out everything else. It's a fun time to be alive. One of the things that's really exciting about The Mothership is for someone like me who's been doing comedy for so long, it's really exciting to watch people's careers launch. [02:03] I've [02:03] Boom. It's crazy. Like some of them like Christina Mariani now just like sells out rooms at the comedy store all the time. She's killing it. And then you have like Peyton Ruddy and like Dylan Carlino. These are just guys who were just at the club and just made... [02:16] away like social media wise and you get to see people get just tighter and better like mccusker's new set like we did last night really fucking good man super solid really fun it's just like we got a good thing man it's a good thing yeah it's a fun it's just a fun place to be around everyone just working jokes that's what it is really it's so funny there is such this narrative outside of the ship about what austin comedy is and it's just really just a bunch of people just [02:46] The narrative is only with jealous people. It's not based on any reality. It's not based on people who go there and hang out. Right. Well, it's always these people who love to talk about Austin, but they don't talk to anyone in Austin. It's like there's a bunch of comics willing to hang out and talk to you. I think I've told you this before, but I have a friend of mine who's somewhat of a philosopher, an online friend. I don't even know what he looks like. We've been going back and forth for years. But he warned me about this a long time ago. He said, you've created a walled garden.

[03:16] you're all having fun, but there's a lot of people that feel on the outside. [03:19] and they feel like left out of it. And so they're like, fuck those people. That party sucks. You know, it's kind of along those lines. And, you know, if you could find some connections to other negative things, you know, like me and Tony, we have this connection to Trump, and so does Shane. And, you know, there's all sorts of that. Oh, fucking, you've got to be a right winger to be. And then the narrative comes up. Oh, you've got to tell jokes about fucking trans people. You have to, like, you can't be a liberal. You can't be this. You can't be, like... [03:49] Well, the whole, like, you have to be a right winger, to me that's like massive projection. Because there are these spaces where, like... [03:56] If you're a right winger in comedy, like there's like leftist spaces that you just can't be in. [04:01] For sure. You'll get pushed out. You'll get treated badly, more importantly. Whereas at the mothership, that fucking green room, like... [04:09] 80% of the time, it's mostly progressive people. Yeah. Mostly left-wing people. A lot of people, most of the people who work there are mostly left-wing. Yeah. Yeah, it's a place where, but because right-wing people, I guess, are allowed to be here, or also allowed to be here, it's all of a sudden this right-wing Nazi haven. Well, it's also, it's like, what does that even mean? Right. What is right-wing? [04:32] Like, because you don't think that that candidate and what they were doing by, like, storming the fucking gates with illegal immigrants, you don't think that was a good idea? You don't think, like, rampant spending completely unchecked with no documentation like what's going on in California?

[04:48] I don't think that's a bad thing? What Tim Walsh is doing. [04:53] There's so much of it, man. But then it's also like, yeah, what ICE is doing, like fucking shooting that lady seems kind of crazy. You know, like grabbing people that happen to be American citizens and fucking dragging them out onto the snow and asking them for their papers. That seems... [05:06] kinda fucking crazy too. Yeah, that seems insane. But it's also like [05:10] They have a crazy job. Like, imagine... [05:14] You're a nice agent. Just imagine what happened. Okay. So we tried, we used our sponsor perplexity the other day and tried to figure out through AI what the exact number is. But when you deep dive, you realize they don't know the number. They really have like an estimate of interactions with illegal immigrants. And it's somewhere around 11 million for four years, which is fucking wild. That's [05:42] 10 Austins. [05:44] OK, yeah, at least of illegal immigrants were allowed to get in this country, aided to get in this country and then moved to states. They moved them. They flew them out to certain swing states. [05:56] Like this is all Mike Benza's documented all this stuff. There's all – you can see they gave him EBT cards. Like so imagine – [06:05] You can imagine two things. One, imagine you're one of those people. You're like, dude, they're asking me to come. This is awesome. Now I'm in America. I'm going to get a good job. I'm going to be able to support my family. And then all of a sudden you have these fucking dudes in bulletproof vests looking for you on the streets. Yeah. Yeah. I thought you said it was okay. I thought the Red Cross gave me a map.

[06:23] I was – you gave me a fucking cell phone and now you're hunting me. Right. Now you're just like caught in the crossfire. But now imagine the ICE agents. Okay. [06:32] This is your job. Your job is to go out and find these people. And one of the things you don't get about this, because there was a recent clip of mine that got highlighted where I was criticizing ICE. [06:43] One of the things that you don't – [06:46] think about when you're into this is [06:49] Just like regular police interactions, the ones that you see online are the horrible ones. So you think all cops are horrible. What you miss is the millions of interactions that people have with cops. Like, how are you doing today, sir? Good, sir. How are you doing? Can I see your paperwork? Sure. Here it is. You in a hurry? I fucked up. I'm late for work. You know, all right, man, just slow down. [07:16] Go. Like, all right, thanks, brother. [07:18] Everything's nice. That happens, too. Like, there's nice interactions with cops. There's people that save people from bad guys. It happens all the time. There's people that are thankful that they called the police and they stopped the burglar who was breaking into their fucking mom's house or whatever it is. Right. There's so many more of those, but you're not seeing those videos. And so with the ICE thing, what you're only seeing and you're only hearing about... [07:41] American citizens that have been arrested, the lady that got shot. You're hearing about all these negative. What you're not hearing about is the number of violent criminals that they've caught. [07:51] And it's a lot. [07:52] It's in the thousands. It's not like thousands of American citizens have been shipped out to other countries. No, it's like net positive if you look at it that way.

[08:05] Like the – see if you can find out how many – because I know there's probably going to be a bunch of various sources that are not totally accurate. But find out, like, what are the number of violent criminals they've caught? [08:18] since they started doing that. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Once you've got a great name for your business, you need a great domain. And Squarespace makes it easy to lock in a domain. You just search the name you want, buy it, and then you're ready to build. No hidden fees, no weird upsells. Go to squarespace.com slash Rogan for a free trial. And when you are ready to launch, use the code Rogan to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. [08:48] When you buy alcohol, you pay a deposit. Beer, wine, spirits. You can leave that money on the table, or you can bring your empties back to the beer store to get it back. I like the sound of that. Return your empties, reclaim your deposit. Learn more at thebeerstore.ca. [09:18] many men, you may have some leakage. If this is something that's affecting your quality of life, there are really good solutions these days. Depend makes the guard and the shield. The shield would be if you have some leakage on occasion, if you have heavier leakage, you could use the guard. Well, also, there is a question on, this is how, because I know this is how they recruit some ice agents. It's just like their ads on local TV, just offering like a signing bonus. Yeah. In the UFC,

[09:48] These aren't just like also regular people. How much training are they really getting? Right. Because when you watch the shooting video, you're like, why is the guy shooting also recording – [09:57] With his phone. Like, there's no way that's, like, anything you're trained to do. His own safety, like, just to make sure that you can see this lady's unhinged. [10:06] Is he not wearing a body camera? He's not a cop, right? Yeah. I bet he's not wearing a body camera. Yeah. So I bet that's why. I bet that's why he filmed it. And also that same guy, it turns out, was dragged by a car just recently. So he almost lost his life or someone did try to run him over. He's hanging onto a car for dear life. I think he got dragged. 300 feet. He got dragged 300 feet. That's crazy. 300 feet, that's a long way to get dragged. Yeah. Right? Yeah. 100%. That's a full football field. [10:36] that you may die. [10:38] There's no single public record number of violent criminals captured by ICE raids just over the last few months, and available data suggests those cases are relatively small share of recent ICE arrests and detentions. [10:48] One analysis, ICE internal data, said that only 5% to 8% of the people booked into ICE detention late 2025 and early fiscal year 2026 had violent or serious property crime convictions. But even if it's 8%, they've gotten rid of a half a million people already, and then 1.6 million voluntarily deported. [11:07] So in a half a million people, 8% is a lot. That's a lot of violent criminals. So this is weirdly phrased. As of January 2020, I would say 8% is a lot. Like if you have cancer in 8% of your body, I would say you're fucked.

[11:23] You know what I'm saying? Like if you're saying, oh, it's only been 8% that are violent criminals. It's a lot. That's a lot of people. But now the question is, are these 8% [11:32] And then the nonviolent people sent to the same place. That's a good question. You know what I mean? Because you do want the violent criminals out. But then I don't want the nonviolent criminals to be sent or nonviolent people who are here to be sent to a prison. Exactly. It says ICE no longer voluntarily publishes detailed case level arrest breakdowns by offense type and independent projects. [12:02] shove you in a prison and now yeah in some prison and you never did anything bad your whole life and now you're in some well the el salvador thing are they still doing that i don't that i don't know that that was a bad yeah that's bad optics yeah i mean this there's a lot of optics is the eyes optics with isis been terrible it says recent enforcement has involved thousands of arrests nationwide but available analysis consistently indicated only a small minority of those is that in [12:29] italics no uh is it not is it maybe weird right yeah looks a little funky [12:36] No, no, it's not. It's just that's that's perplexity showing its bias. Small minority of those. That's a tone of those in ICE detention arrested by ICE in late 2025 and early 2026 have violent criminal convictions. Most have no convictions. But when they say small minority, they indicated previously that's eight percent. That still means a lot of human beings.

[13:06] Sign a piece of paper that said that we're going to allow a bunch of people into this country. Most of them have no violent convictions, but about 8% of them are monsters, evil, sociopathic, murderers, drug dealers. 8% is a giant-ass fucking number. Right. That's a giant-ass number. Right. The real problem is that they have to do this. This is a real problem because the Democrats did what they did. They did a crazy thing. [13:36] Yeah. [13:54] Which is – wait a minute, but you can't stop people from breaking the law? What are you saying? There's a method to stop this and you don't want it stopped? Right. Because the dirty secret is the census doesn't count. [14:06] Citizens counts everybody. [14:08] It even counts illegals. So if you live in a community that's half illegal aliens, you get way more congressional seats from that district than if you are in a community where all those people don't count. They said that – I think they said that California, if the census did – see if we can find out what the number is. But if the census did not count illegal immigrants in California, I think they would lose a shocking number of seats. Right. [14:35] Which is kind of crazy. That's crazy. You're rigging politics by moving humans into place. Yeah, well, you got to do something. It's a very – something that no one really talks about a lot is like –

[14:49] The Democrats... [14:51] Every single minority group shifted right in 2024. [14:55] Right. Every single one. And no one really is like actually trying to figure out why that's happening. They're like, well, if we just import more people, we can overcome that deficit. But they could. They could. If it was successful, they could overwhelm the political process. They could make it just like it's California forever where you get half the people are like massively disgruntled and so confused about the politics. But they're stuck there. [15:18] And that would be the whole country. [15:20] It would essentially be that kind of a thing. And then they do what they do in England and what they do in Canada is they slowly start clamping down on your rights. Right. And England starts arresting people for social media posts. Well, you know, hopefully – [15:33] That the free speech stuff is so ingrained in who we are as a people because England, like at the end of the day, it's not like that country was built on that principle. This says they would only lose two house seats. It says California would lose – I call it Canada. It's like some Freudian. Would lose an order of one to two house seats if people in the state without legal status were not counted in the census used for appointment based on recent evidence. [16:02] expert simulations. Alright. What's the... Here's the thing, like... [16:08] How many illegals are in California? Let's find that out. Like what is the estimated number? Put that in there, Jamie. What's the estimated number of illegals in California? I don't know where I'd be without this kind of shit. Yeah. I'm so hooked on using like perplexity for any question I have all throughout the day. It's like my smart friend. It's like better Wikipedia because it can really like – you can use it as like – way better than Wikipedia. Yeah, because you can ask questions. It scans the entire internet.

[16:38] and you're like, wait a minute, let me go to that article. That might be bullshit. Because it's only pulling from the internet, right? [16:43] Undocumented $2.8 million in 2007... [16:46] Well, yeah, that would be around two seats, right? Because there's like 30 million in California. Something like that. Yeah. [16:53] Yeah, that makes a difference. And then you do the same thing in Seattle, you do the same thing in wherever, you know, places you have massive numbers of undocumented people. Oh, Ohio is a big one. You know, this is one of the reasons why they had this thing where like, why are there so many Haitians in Ohio? [17:11] What do you think? I think they just decided Ohio's a spot and they all had a group WhatsApp chat. No, probably somebody's moving them there because it's a swing state. It was funny when the Somalian thing when Walt was like, this is – [17:25] white supremacy it was crazy and was like hey but but then who's the most supreme white man in the state governor you bitch yeah like that's a crazy Freudian slip but it's also like what a crazy attempt at misdirection white white men commit most of the crimes yeah that's part i think i told you that's part of the reason why i think like minority groups are shifting away because it's like [17:48] One, I don't think that's the whole victimhood mentality. That's not something that minority groups really do. [17:53] experience or like value. Especially not minority groups that are immigrants that are in the middle of the hustle. Right. We got to go to work. Like we got to overcome. That's the whole point. Regardless of the hand you're dealt, you got to just play it and overcome. And so that victimhood mentality really kind of pushes people away.

[18:10] From the left, I think, in that manner. And then, like, you know, when Biden was like, you know, if you – [18:18] uh don't vote for me you're not black it's like that's kind of how they that's kind of how they view the minority vote it's a hostage vote it's like vote for us or else yeah it's like no one likes that energy coming towards them and they'll lash out and go in a different direction such a wild thing to say i mean unbelievably funny unbelievably funny man it's just i can't believe he fucking said it he's so crazy he said it with that fucking crazy pulled back face and it's like [18:48] This is madness. Whatever they did to him to make him try to look younger. Yeah. It just doesn't work, kids. No. It doesn't work. Oh, my God. All that. We know what you used to look like. You're on TV all the time, and all of a sudden you have a completely different face. Like, your face is different. Like, everything's pulled back and it doesn't look like anybody normal that's 80 years old. No. All plastic surgery ages, like, you look like an alien when you're old. There's just no way around it. [19:18] guy who's like yeah i like i like that look like that much but it's it's crazy how they age the facial fillers are crazy too because sometimes those things become a problem and then you got to get them removed and well now they're doing that buckle fat thing oh where they look like ghouls why would they do that why would they take fat out of their face like fat in your face is what makes you look youthful what are those ladies gonna look like when they hit their 60s they're gonna look like ghosts

[19:44] Maybe. Because their face will be all sunken in. By the time they're 60, I think medicine is going to be at a level where they're going to be able to reverse aging. They're pretty close to being able to do that. They've already done some stuff with mice, and they've done some stuff where they're understanding what genes are causing you to have these problems, what things can be done to mitigate it. And they're treating aging not like an inevitable aspect of life, but as like a disease that you get over time. Right. [20:14] Instead of like accepting the fact that your body is going to age at a very specific rate and then when you're 60, it's going to suck. When you're 70, it'll suck worse. Instead, it's like what's causing that? Let's reverse what's causing it. [20:26] And, you know, essentially, if you can do that, and I think they can, if they can't do it now, they're going to be able to do it. Whoa. Jesus. What happened? Okay, but this is like day one. This lady just had surgery. I just popped up on my feet a few times. She's 69, almost 70. Holy shit. [20:47] That lady does not look even close to 69 or 70. Is that true, though? Kind of uncanny. Is that true? Is that Dr. Crazy? He's making it up. She's like, I'm fucking 40, asshole. It just feels like one of those human dolls. What did she look like before? There you go. There you go. That's the before. Whoa, that's the same lady? [21:07] Bro, that's crazy. You could pick her up at a bar, and then you're like, why do you smell old? God, that's crazy. You had that old people smell. The mothball smell.

[21:18] perfume all over their body oh i remember there was this uh episode of uh that show autopsy did you ever see that show no there's this guy michael badden and he's a famous forensic scientist that like examines cases and says this is actually a murder and he catches people and one of them was this guy who was really crazy and his wife died i don't know if it was his wife or a lady he knew [21:48] He kept the corpse in his house and had fashioned some kind of an artificial vagina that he attached to the corpse and then had cases of perfume. Yeah. [22:01] And so apparently the – he just kept fucking it. Is this like an older guy – an older story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like some Cuban doctor, and it was like some girl he fell in love with, and then she died. Yes, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. But it wasn't his wife, right? No, it was like in a plaster case thing, and it was – yeah. People are fucking crazy. It had a mask on it. So it was like a corpse that was like years old with a mask on it and an artificial vagina and cases and cases of perfume. [22:31] this thing perfuming getting his fuck on yeah yeah yeah jb just gotta find that you gotta find the picture of it he even inserted a paper tube into a decrepit corpse to serve as a vagina for making love yeah that's what i'm talking about that's to the fake vagina i think it was uh yeah it was like something he made like he made something people made a thing to fuck people go through lengths to get their rocks off that's crazy it's like ingenuity that's like man if you

[23:01] Find us a photo of the corpse. There we go. [23:05] Yeah. Oh, no, that's Carl Tanzler. That's a different guy. Oh, it's a different one? But he did the same thing. [23:10] Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. [23:12] Key West. Same thing. Secretly took her body or used French plaster to preserve her skin, rigged wires and hangers to support her skeleton, and then pumped a continuous stream of perfume to mask the scent of decay. Disturbing arrangement continued for seven years until it was finally discovered by her sister. Oh, God. What a horror story that is. [23:42] stream of perfume to keep people from knowing there's a rotted body up there. Oh, God. He did it for years. [23:49] God, men are fucked. Well, yeah. Well, you know, any sort of weird predator will end up in that situation where they can do their thing, right? So if you fuck dead bodies, you're going to be in a corpse. Same thing like female pedophiles just become middle school teachers. Those in the 30s. That's what they do. Jeez. [24:07] Carl Tanzler. Oh, God. And that's Dr. Michael Badden, the HBO show. That show is awesome, man. [24:14] Oh, and he did Epstein's autopsy. Yeah, he did. He's one of the ones that said that the – [24:21] wounds were consistent with ligature strangulation not with hanging yeah we talked about this last time yeah yeah you know so far so i recorded my special on the 25th of october and i have a bunch of epstein jokes in there and in the meantime they were they said they released the files and i was like oh no but they still haven't released them and i was like oh thank god the joke still worked i was like oh my god thank god because i have like at least two separate times where i bring them up because it was so it was even bigger back then well it's gonna go on for a long time i

[24:51] I mean, they said they released them, but what did they release? No, they're still not all out yet. What did they release? Yeah, yeah. Like, it's weird. The whole thing's weird. It reminds me of that Onion article. [25:01] Where they're like, oh, CIA realizes they've been using a black highlighter this entire time? [25:07] It's like that. It's like, oh, okay, you just blacked out pages? Redacted the shit out of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, what did they release? Did they release something recently? No, they haven't released anything in a minute. They had that initial release where everything was blacked out, and it was that picture of Winnie the Pooh, which was hilarious. But isn't there talk about some new releases that are happening soon? Have they? It feels like everything's been drowned out by everything else that's been going on. [25:31] Somalians and the ice shooting. It feels like that's completely drowned out. I think that's on purpose. Oh, 100%. 27 minutes to go, update story. A federal judge blocked. [25:42] the effort to force the release of more files. [25:47] I'm trying to get that off there. [25:50] Okay. The federal judge – we said it a little bit wrong. The federal judge blocked the lawmakers' effort to force the DOJ to release the Epstein file. So they're trying to force the DOJ. They already were forced to. They've missed deadlines. And a federal judge blocked them from forcing them to release it. So a federal judge said, no, you can't force them to release it, even though you campaigned on it. [26:15] Yeah. He ran on it. Even though you stood outside that courthouse with a bunch of binders. We've got it. He ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert. Okay, that's a little different. So the federal judge Wednesday ruled that he lacks jurisdiction to appoint an outside expert to ensure the Justice Department complies with the law that makes all files pertaining to the prosecution of Jeffrey Epstein available for public view. Okay, that's different.

[26:45] to make sure it still can't come out. It's pretty crazy impressive. I don't have a jurisdiction. But if you're a federal judge, you can't step outside of your boundaries. [26:57] Don't they kind of just do that sometimes, though? Yeah, but you're not supposed to. Just because some of them are unethical or some of them... Right, that's fair. [27:05] Yeah, I don't understand all this, so I'm going to be charitable about it. Yeah. I'm going to be charitable about it, but I just don't understand how anybody can go to jail for sex trafficking when you don't have anybody they sex traffic to. Right. Like, that don't make any sense. Like, if I was Ghislaine's lawyer, I'd be like, to who? To who? Like, how did he not do that? Like, you want to tell me there's some sort of a compromise trial. How do you not have a lawyer that goes... [27:31] Who did she sex traffic to? Right. That's clearly – there's some sort of backdoor deal that was like, hey, spend this time in jail and we won't kill you. Of course. Yeah. Or also she's working with them. Right. How do you have – [27:45] I mean, in any way, shape or form, how do you have a person convicted of a crime when there's especially that kind of a crime where there's a person that hires you or gives you money or that you use to get influence from and then you sex traffic to them? [28:02] So there's another person involved, and that other person is completely eliminated from the trial because what? [28:08] Because they're billionaires, because they're heads of state, because they're prominent scientists. What is going – like how is that okay? That doesn't even make sense that you could get through a whole trial like that. Yeah, but I think that's just – I was saying this earlier. I think this is just a function of government, these intense blackmail sex rings that everyone just kind of gets away with it.

[28:29] Well, yeah, it seems like it happens over and over again, but it's like look at it this way. Like imagine if you are [28:35] were selling hash. And you had like pounds and pounds of hash at your house and you've been selling hash and you got caught selling hash. [28:46] They charge you with distribution, and you're like, okay, but distributed to who? Because you're only selling to rich, famous people. You're only selling to heads of J.P. Morgan. [28:57] You're selling all your hash to those guys. And they're like, well, who did he sell the hash to? Nobody. Nobody. [29:01] Somebody bought $100 million worth of hash, and there's nobody? You have no person? That doesn't make any sense. There's no crime. So he didn't really sell it. [29:11] You could say he possesses it. [29:13] but maybe intent to distribute, but if you want to get them for actual distribution and selling of hash, he's got to sell it to somebody. [29:20] Man. At least an undercover agent. Right. But like in this situation, it's like, did we ever really think anyone was really going to go to jail for this? I feel like with continual constant pressure. [29:32] They have to it has to slowly leak out. Man, I wish I was that optimistic about it. They've done a good job of they've done a good job of it, of keeping the names out of the press, even after they said they would leak them. It says here, FBI and DOJ records for 2019 reference about 10 individuals described as an alleged Epstein co-conspirators, including Maxwell and French modeling agent Jean-Luc Brunel, who died in French custody in 2022.

[30:02] of it too, be like, oh, she sold it to a dead guy. [30:05] Yeah, but it's also – this is not saying that she sold it to them. They're co-conspirators. So they were probably involved in facilitating. They were probably involved in acquiring these girls, making connections because that guy owned a modeling agency. [30:20] So he's or he's a modeling agent. Right. Right. Right. So that guy's getting him girls. So he's a co-conspirator. It's not saying that he was John. You know, he was a John that was getting the girls. [30:30] He was a co-conspirator. So there's at least 10 individuals who are also – which makes sense. If you have this giant blackmail ring, it's not going to be like one guy. I also found it funny the whole – that Mark Epstein guy, his just brother came out of nowhere for like a little bit. For a little bit. Yeah. And he's like, fuck this. It's like, wait, first of all, what do you mean a brother that just knows everything that happened? Because he came out and said that wasn't like the email that was like, oh, Clinton – Trump sucked Clinton's dick. Yeah. [31:00] Bubba wasn't Clinton, but you didn't say he didn't suck someone's dick. You just felt like it wasn't Clinton. Trump sucked some guy in Bubba's dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some truck driver. Yeah, yeah. What were you just showing us? And then he disappeared. That a few of those people were protected by the 2008 non-prosecution agreement. Mmm. The original federal prosecution. Oh, that little slap on the wrist protected a bunch of people. Right. And so they continue to be protected. Is that the idea? That's where no, I don't know if anybody knows. [31:30] huh? That's a slippery one. So what did Epstein's brother wind up saying? He said it wasn't Bubba and then, which implied that he knew exactly what was going on on the island the whole time and is just out and about. But he's still saying that Trump sucks someone's dick? Yeah. And then he just straight up disappeared.

[31:51] Where the fuck did he go? We just learned about him. Man, I believe a lot of things. I do not believe Trump sucks someone's dick. Because he doesn't [32:00] Sheen was saying he sucks some guy's dick. Like, okay, fine. [32:03] Charlie was doing so much crack, it was out of his fucking mind. I feel like that level of power is a drug at that point. I mean, maybe. I don't think so. I don't know. It's a very fun world to believe that he did. I don't think it's going to get a guy like Trump to suck a dick. It just doesn't seem – that's a guy who's fucked up on drugs. It's like when Diddy was doing it, we were all doing drugs. It's a drug thing, right? Yeah. Unless you're a gay man, it's a drug thing to go around sucking dicks. So we're assuming that Trump's been hiding the gay the entire – not a chance in hell. [32:33] That would be the most impressive hide of all time. Also, why would he do that? Yeah, there's no reason. If you're open and you're gay, side with the fucking Democrats. That's the move. You can probably do all the exact same things when you get into office. Right. Oh, horseshit. I'm trying to follow up question, isn't it? It does not know who's in charge of asking the state. It's thinking. Look at it thinking. Your laptop's about to blow up. I would stop. Fucking drone's about to hit the building. [33:03] be on fire tonight when we get there. Oh, I'm so, yeah. Jesus Christ, man. It's so funny. It's like, it's an attempted cover-up of corruption that would have been successful in the 70s. Right. Right. [33:14] If they had pulled this shit off in the 70s or the 80s, [33:18] Gone. Well, it's the whole Franklin scandal. Sure. Yeah, they killed that reporter. Yes. They killed that reporter. There was definitely some...

[33:27] Yeah. Underage sexual thing going on there. And they were like dead. You and your son. That's what you get for fucking around. Yeah. Both of you there. Well, you know, Tucker's talked about this and a few other people talked about this. There's a bunch of secretly gay politicians. Oh, yeah. And then there's probably a bunch of secret pedophiles as well. Yeah. I mean, definitely. For sure. There's definitely I'd like I pulled that once on bottom of the barrel. Just secretly gay Republicans. Yeah. That was my thing. And then I was like, can you imagine? [33:57] how good that sex feels especially after you spent all day being like it's bad it's wrong yeah that sex is extra hot yeah because you're going against God and your party at one time some twink with his converse on yeah and then you go back and be like family value like that level of [34:20] I think there's a lot of them that are putting on a show. A lot of them. They're putting on an act, and you're never going to get to know who they really are. And that's why when something comes out, it's like shocking. Oh! [34:32] Right. They're all fucking weirdos. They're all weirdos. You have to be a weirdo to want to run the – or you have to be like this amazing person. Like it's two options. Right. You have to be Gandhi or you have to be a weirdo. You know what I mean? And speaker of pedophiles. We had a speaker of the house that was a pedophile for like eight years. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A real one. A real deal pedophile. A real deal convicted pedophile. What was his name again? Haster. Haster. I think it might have been Haster. I think so. I feel like we should look that up. Yeah, let's look that up.

[35:02] Dennis Hester was like a nice guy and we're calling him Red Bull, but – Speaker of the House. He was involved in a very big scandal of it, right? Yeah, Dennis Hester. Yeah. Yes. It was like some Sandusky shit. It was at a school that he was teaching at. Exactly. Allegations that – [35:16] Scroll up a little bit. Senate candidate Roy Moore spent his 30s dating, propositioning and sexually assaulting high school age girls was shocking, but not without precedent. There have been plenty of congressmen who carried on sexual relationships with teenagers from Thomas Jefferson. That was back when people died when they were 18. Yeah. Strom Thurmond, perhaps more dastardly. [35:37] Illinois rep Dennis Hastert served as Speaker of the House from 99, 2007. [35:46] school bathroom and threaten him if he reported assault. That's like Shandosky stuff. Jesus Christ. Since the statute of limitation had expired on these crimes, Hastert was instead convicted of evading bank reporting requirements in order to secretly pay off his victims. That's so funny. He served 15 months in prison. That's it. Holy shit. That's so crazy to pay off your victims and not do it in cash. [36:10] What a lot of money. Yeah, that's a lot of money. That's fair. I bet it was I bet it was quite a bit of money. Holy shit, dude. Yeah. And so if there's one kid that got saw a fourth grade boy in a school bathroom, how many more did he do that to? How many just don't want the shame of it coming out publicly? How many guys are struggling with it right now? They're 35 years old. They don't want to tell that story. Right. That ruined their life. Right.

[36:36] Because the Speaker of the House fucked them. [36:38] Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. And he so he's not alone. No. Right. No. That's the Franklin scandal. And there's no way that wasn't uncovered beforehand by people. Just the way the political machine works. But that's like sort of like you get. Great news. The federal EV rebate is back. Eligible customers get up to five thousand dollars with the federal EVAP rebate on select 2027 volt and 2026 Equinox EV models. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer today for more details. [37:08] You're one of those media strategy people clicking through slides, scrolling spreadsheets. Yes. Good. This is for you. Because on Spotify, there's an audience that's different, locked in, loyal, invested. They're called fans. Fans don't just listen to music. They feel seen by it like it belongs to them. So when your brand shows up on Spotify, that's who you're talking to. And you're right next to artists like me, Lizzo. So are you ready to talk to fans? Spotify advertising. You're among fans. [37:38] for this, I'll get you for this, so you keep that under wraps. You just have that in your back pocket. I think it's just part of that game that they play. Oh, for sure. It's like Game of Thrones. For sure. It's definitely part. It really is. It really is like Game of Thrones. [37:51] It's just a whorehouse. And also House of Cards. Yeah. [37:55] Right? It sucks that Kevin Spacey got busted because that show ruled. I know, right? But, you know, it's so funny because thinking back on it, like if you looked at movies, my genuine take before –

[38:06] He got busted for this is he plays the greatest villains. Yes. He's like the greatest villain actor of all time. He's the greatest creep. Mm-hmm. He's like a brilliant creep, like with darkness behind his eyes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then can turn it on the charm, that southern charm for the camera. How about when he did that fucking weird video in front of the fireplace? Oh, dude. Like in character? Right after. Kill him with kindness. Right after the witness to his case died? [38:36] to his case died yeah like yeah people were dropping or like flies around space either crazy real deal villain shit acting out the literal plot lines as the character being the character while he's tending the fire goes to show you you can still be a i mean he's still a genius artist amazing yeah just like amazing and in any other time he would have never gotten caught [39:06] They've got an immense amount of power and he was just a dick grabber like, "Good man, dick." And I bet a lot of guys are like, "Okay." That's the problem with wild pitches. You know, you fucking swing at every pitch, you're gonna hit a few, you know, but he's probably... [39:22] You know, for all these guys that he grabbed dicks and said, you know, probably drunk, probably fucked up. How many guys like – [39:29] Let them suck their dick a lot. I bet I bet it was an effective strategy, right? Especially for famous and all they did it to gay guys, but he was like the one guy that the story broke was a young teenager, right? Was he like 14 or something like that? Yeah, it's then they were working together or something like that. It was definitely a minor.

[39:49] But it's also like, why is that a teenager at a minor with a bunch of drunk gay guys like, hey, where's your dad? [39:57] The fuck is going on? What are you doing there? But it's, you know. [40:01] It's not excusing him for doing it. [40:03] The thing about people in the gay community is they look very differently at [40:09] teenage boy, gay teenage boy men relationships than we do at like teenage girl men relationships. They look at it very differently. Like Milo got in trouble for that. As Milo on my podcast was talking about this guy that molested him. He was like, trust me, I was the predator. Right. That's what he said. That's a crazy thing to say. But he, [40:33] They look at it differently. [40:35] Oh, yeah, yeah. That's – I remember someone was – [40:40] I was living in LA and... [40:42] we had this gay dude who was sleeping on the, uh, you know, we had a, [40:46] Bed in the living room For guests to stay over So he lived there for like two months And we were watching Call Me By Your Name [40:54] And he it's like a it's like it's Armie Hammer and maybe it's Chalamet. I forgot. I was in and out my roommates were watching it. But it's like about a gay story between an older man and a younger boy. And yeah, he he would say he said this read like he was watching it like, oh, this reads like a fan fiction of an older. [41:14] gay dude being in love with like a younger gay guy. [41:16] yeah it's like a i remember that i remember him telling us that i'm like okay

[41:21] That's interesting. Well, I mean, it kind of makes sense, right? Because we think very differently of like a high school football player that winds up banging a really hot science teacher. Yeah. Yeah. [41:32] You know, you're not mad. You're just like, this is crazy. That lady's crazy. She's 35. She's got two kids. She fucks a 17-year-old boy in the bathroom. Yeah. Yeah, I said that earlier. Female pedophiles become teachers. That is what they do. They find the way. It's very, very, very different than the scenario of like the football coach that's banging the cheerleader. That's crazy. Yeah, that's way darker. That makes you want to lynch him. Yeah, yeah. That's way grosser. It's weird, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is weird. Yeah, it's like – yeah. [42:02] South Park episode about it. Every time you hear that story about, you know, the older teacher fucking the young boy, every guy's kind of like, nice. Yeah. Well, you know how the best joke about it was Zach Galifianakis. He said, do you hear the boy died? [42:15] Yeah, his friends high-fived him to death. [42:24] Man, that live at the Purple Onion. Oh, fantastic. That was a fucking great special. What is he doing these days? I have no idea. He was on that show for a while on FX Baskets. That was really good about the clown. Louie Anderson won the Emmy on it. He owns a farm somewhere. He has like a farm. I think he's like, he's very smart. Have you ever talked to him? I've never met him. [42:45] I've never... The only time I saw him... The only time I saw him live was at Brody's Memorial. [42:50] Yeah, he was real tight with Brody. He is one of the ways that I found out that Brody was off his meds. He contacted me. Do you remember that one time when Brody got real kind of like almost aggressive crazy and was like yelling at people in the audience sometimes? And it got weird. It wasn't like performance arty anymore. It was like, what's happening with Brody?

[43:12] And then he got back and he like bounced it out. Brody had like a legit problem. Whatever it was, whatever his mental health issue was, like he needed medication. Like he was – [43:23] He was legit crazy. And Zach contacted me and said, it seems like Brody's off his meds, so just don't engage with him. [43:30] damn damn damn so it's like you got to kind of figure out a way to corral him get him back on his stuff and but man when it when he was in that main room when he was in that main room and that what was left of the crowd was rocking with him it was just so much fun just watching him play drums he uh came into the improv one night we were doing a later show so it was like a 10 o'clock show and he was on late and uh the show was kind of peter now you know it does and at the time it [44:00] And then, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Brody Stevens. Brody takes his shirt off and starts swinging it around in the air like a flag. He goes through the crowd. Let's go! Energy! And, like, he just gets everybody fired up. He immediately breaks out the drumsticks, starts fucking drumming on the seat, and then starts telling jokes and just changed the whole tempo of the room. Like, everything lit up. It was awesome. [44:30] That's what Brody can do. Yeah. With pure charisma and talent and just personality. And anytime I see him, like, anytime I see a person in the audience like this, all arms crossed negative. That's all I can think. That's all I can think. It's like, wow, you are giving me negative energy right now for no reason. For no reason. You're at a show. Come and enjoy it. You know, especially when you see it, because I cold open a lot, you see it like, like, you see people be like, why are you?

[44:56] Thank you. [44:56] Why do you come here like impress me? Like you're already here. Just enjoy the energy. It takes a while sometimes for people to loosen up. You have the hardest job when we do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows and you cold open. I've only cold opened a few times over the last few years. Yeah. Or over the last 10 years. It's hard. You've got to hypnotize those people. You've got to slowly work your way into the rhythm of jokes. Oh, yeah. You have to sort of like – I like it because it's energy matching. You have to find out where they are, catch on to them, and then bring them to the energy that you want. You know who's really good at it? [45:26] Hans Kim. Oh, yeah, yeah. Really good at it. Well, it's just straight jokes. Uh-huh. It's just straight jokes, and he's funny looking. You know, like he's got a big smile on his face. He's having fun. You kind of get into his groove real quick. And, you know, he did so many arenas with me in so many big places, and he was the perfect guy because he would just go, let me tell you something about myself. And then right away, he would take control of the room. It was awesome. Derek's great at bringing him in, too. It's fun watching. [45:56] watching the different people like their different cold open strategy derrick is just like getting everybody fired up excitement and he's so lovable you know he's got again so much charisma right yeah but it's uh the cold opening for as long as i i have done and my career even pre this club it's just it made me i feel like so much stronger because like almost like running with ankle weights on and then now like leading up to me releasing the too soon i was like [46:23] Oh, I was like – [46:24] All these spots I was getting at the end of the shows, these were material – this is all material that I tested at the beginning of Rogan and Friends, which – especially at the beginning of the club, a lot of people were like –

[46:35] Wait. [46:37] You're not Rogan talking to a friend. Like they thought they were coming to a live podcast. It took a while before the shows were like, oh, yeah, this is a stand-up show. Really? Yeah. People thought it was going to be a podcast? At the very beginning, there were some episodes where you had to introduce the concept of this is going to be stand-up. That's crazy. Now it's not like that. But at the very beginning, it for sure was. But it was like I felt my material was battle-tested. Well, it certainly is. The running with weights is a great analogy. [47:07] That's exactly what it is. Yeah, it makes the jokes so much stronger. You know what else is really good for your act is hosting. [47:14] Yeah. Because you go up so often. Like one of the things that really helped a lot of guys at the store was hosting potluck because, you know, you have to there's all this chaos. Someone just bombed. Something crazy just happened. Someone just did something completely fucking insane. You have a chance to make fun of it. Reset the room. Reset the room. And there's a comfort level that comes up because you're essentially doing stand up from 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. [47:44] In Hollywood, Derek was booking the Madhouse, and I would come down and host the weekend shows. So every day I'd host from every weekend or two weekends a month, I would host from 5 to 2 in the morning because you'd host the open mic afterwards. And you'd just host the entire night. It's a full day's worth of hosting. [47:59] That's awesome. Yeah. It's like – because the opening spots suck, but, like, they make you better. It's the ones that suck that make you better. It's definitely – well, you realize, like, where the sloppy parts of your bits are. Mm-hmm. Like, you're saying them, you're like, ew. Right. You know? Like, it gets you. You're like, ew. Right. Like, whereas when the crowd's popping and they're laughing at everything they want to laugh, you can get that through and I'll actually get a laugh. But then when, like, it's quiet and it's the beginning of the show, you realize, oh, this bit sucks. Right.

[48:29] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta not put it up front. What was I thinking? [48:34] I gotta tighten this motherfucker up. [48:37] It's – there's plenty of other spots. That's the beautiful thing. We're running four shows a night every night. And so – and then – And there's so much around the scene. There's so much. I was telling someone in LA. It's like, oh, if I chose not to get up. [48:52] 10 spots in front of an audience member in a week at the very least, then I chose that because it's so easy to just go out and get spots. There's so many spots. With people and like – around – in downtown alone, there's like 12 dedicated comedy rooms. It's insane. Did you see – was it Rappaport that got kicked off of a show at Cap City? They canceled his show? They canceled Rappaport. And let me see what the post was because they said something like there's another big club that will have you or something like that. Yeah. [49:22] Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. They just assume – they assume the mothership is full of racist people. They don't. Yeah, people do. But the guy that owns that is the guy that owns Helium. Yeah, but no, not just that. I think that's pervasive around comedy for sure. It's nonsense. They're just – they're pretending they think that. There's no way they think that. If you just look at the lineup, there's no way they think that. Well, no one's looking at the lineup. They're really like, oh, Joe and Tony support Trump, so this must be filled with racist people. That's what it is. What did they say? Can you pull up the – Yeah, it has to – I mean – [49:50] I think they phrased it in an interesting way. [49:53] So – [49:54] Austin for Palestine Coalition. That's a Rappaport. It's pretty funny. That's a Rappaport. He's done canceled. Thank you, Cap City Comedy and Helium Management for listening to Austin and canceling the racist provocateur Michael Rappaport show at your establishment. And so – Hey, Michael Rappaport.

[50:15] Make sure – yeah, yeah, that's the – the caption is like – [50:19] There's another club insinuating that we would take – But what is this? This is just Austin comedy. That's just someone's account. It's just someone's account, yeah. That's when – when I first moved here, that was when I – that's how I figured out where all the open mics and shows were. But they're not even accusing us. It's pretty sure there's another club or large venue space that will welcome you that aren't run by helium. [50:40] But there's a lot of places that that's not necessarily they're saying us. If you still want to make a stop in Austin, just let them know. Most of us here are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel silence performers. [50:52] So that seems like they're kind of saying – [50:56] Like, hey, Michael, come do another spot. Do it somewhere else. [51:00] I don't think they're accusing him of that. Right. That sounds more supportive of him coming here and saying most of us are friendly and won't use politics and hate to cancel and silence performance. So that's not helium saying that. I guess he's outspokenly pro-Israel for this to happen. I'm not paying attention to that dude because I feel like a lot of it is – [51:22] needy you know what i mean there's a lot of like trying to get attention too hard right it's like yeah he's like i get he's not a dumb guy he's got some really good points but the problem is if you try too hard and you're doing it all the time then the good points miss me right they miss me because you're already connected to all that other silly shit they're just lost in a sea like yeah [51:45] Which is good and bad depending on whether or not you want to be taken seriously.

[51:48] I don't want to be taken seriously. So if I do UFO shows or Bigfoot shows, I'm like, good. Oh, he believes in dragons. Good. Good. Don't take me seriously. But – [51:59] When you're talking about something like Israel and Palestine, I guess, because it said something for citizens for Palestine. Yeah, it had to have been. They're not canceling. The coalition for Palestine is not going out of their way. I had no idea anybody was calling Michael Rappaport racist. [52:14] Oh, well, yeah. This is the first Michael Rappaport news I've heard in years, if I'm going to be honest. [52:18] I had no idea that there was an organized campaign to stop his shows. There must be. If it's happening here, it's happening everywhere, right? It has to be. [52:28] *ahem* [52:30] Okay, since early November, our coalition sent several emails. That's all it took. [52:34] It says they were ignored. While employees had privately shared that they're uncomfortable. Oh, they privately shared that with anti-Palestinian hate monger Rappaport being hosted. Management seems unwilling to listen to their community. That's not necessarily their community. That's just some people in the community. Rappaport isn't just a fanatical Zionist with political views we disagree with. He's a racist. [52:58] Who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. He mocks immigrants and supports ICE detentions of people whose viewpoints he dislikes. Additionally, he has a reputation for being generally disliked by people he's worked with, doxing his political opponents, and has been accused of working with Fox News to spread fake propaganda. Okay, this is like a lot. Yeah, this is – yeah. Who wrote this? Austin for Palestine Coalition. So maybe it's just in Austin. Oh, yeah, that's it, Austin. Yeah.

[53:21] And then they got him out of Cap City. [53:25] Yeah. [53:27] But – so what is the – go back up to the top of that thing. What is the original – no, no, no, no, no. The original thing that I read. It said – [53:37] What? [53:38] He's mocked is a racist who cruelly mocks dead civilians and children. [53:44] Is that true? [53:45] I don't think that's true. We'd have to go through his. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like when you say something like that. [53:51] You just have to take that for face value that he does that if you want to believe that. [53:54] I've never seen anything like that. I would imagine that if he did something like that, it would go viral. Maybe not. [54:00] mocking dead children yeah i mean yeah maybe not maybe probably this day and age yeah if he's famous enough for sure oh yeah yeah he's straight up mocking if you're mocking dead show look look at the people that mocked charlie kirk the fucking hate came strong oh yeah they they they all they all like lost their jobs they felt the heat yeah immediately immediately yeah yeah it is it is like the internet makes people very comfortable with putting their initial emotional reaction out for [54:30] Eric talks about, it's like, we got to go back to the times when, like, [54:32] People were like, oh, you can't post yourself with a red cup because a job might see that. You won't get the job. That used to be – You think you're drinking. Yeah. That used to be like – and now people are like just full-on sketches of people dying. You see so many people die just constantly too. So it's like everyone is just desensitized to everything. There's a lot of desensitization. There's a lot of people that also live in these echo chambers and they think when they say things – like who was that one lady that was – she was a CEO somewhere.

[55:02] She posted on her Instagram story, I think, something like that. She posted, rest in piss, Charlie Kirk. Right. [55:10] Like you're a regular person with a real job. You're talking about a guy who got murdered and you just wrote rest in piss on the internet because in their bubble, they were saying that kind of stuff. They thought it was a cool thing to say. Yeah. Your algorithm is so designed to just show you what things that agree with you. Right. So everyone gets more and more like, oh, everyone believes this. Everyone – because everyone around or everyone I perceive to be around me believes that. [55:40] It's fake. Most of it is just some Pakistani guy. [55:43] Right. Yeah. Somewhere with like a million new AI where you just constant. No, no, no. The new one where you can be any celebrity and it looks exactly like that celebrity. So all your movements, you could be like, you know, Mike from Stranger Things. Damn. And it's super accurate. Damn. Crazy. We're getting to the point where like. [56:06] surveillance videos won't be admissible in court like it's gonna be it's gonna be up to there it'll will it all have to be on the blockchain but even that like i don't understand the blockchain do you who knows if that's manipulated yeah see if you can find that video of because there was uh one performer who did a series of different people from stranger things he did like l from stranger things and mike from and it's fucking nuts it's the same person just moving their hands around

[56:36] exactly like the other person. Right. So now you're seeing heavily manipulated content. Like you – [56:42] Unless you go out of your way to look for another opinion – [56:47] So you're just going to become entrenched in your own opinion. That's sort of the problem with what's happening right now. Or entrenched in the opinion that they want to promote. Yes, they want to promote. You're just sort of like, oh, you're just being fed this constant line of bullshit. You've got to do some algorithm cleanses. You know how you go on juice cleanses? You've got to do that with your algorithm. Well, I think, honestly, what you've got to do is stay offline. Yeah. You're going to get got no matter what. Your algorithm is eventually going to catch you again. It's like, I'm going to do a little heroin this time. [57:17] heroin junkie. Right, right. For me, it's like there's so many videos of people getting killed by alligators and lions that are fake, and they just look a little off. Like the lion jumps in the car and pulls them out. You're like, no. You're like, something's wrong with this. The way people react. Right now, the reactions of people in the background don't match. Right. That's what's – because it used to be you could see the fingers, and the fingers would be all fucked up, but they got the fingers pretty down now. They're getting better at that. Now, it's like you got to look in the – if the people in the background aren't reacting, you're like, okay. Yeah. [57:47] People in the background would react to a guy getting eaten by a lion. I guess they could probably fix that, though, with a prompt. Well, that would be the next generation. Everybody in the background scatter. That's the next generation. I don't even think it's the next generation. I think it's just you've got to just ask it to do a better version. Keep correcting it. Asking it to do better. Kind of. Fix this. Fix that. Have you ever done that with a video where you ask it to keep fixing things? No. It gets overloaded, and it just gets worse and worse and worse. If you ask it to fix it, it's not good at making an edit.

[58:13] On the video you already have. Oh. So you can be like, let's say it'll just generate another thing. And because it's making a video about a video, everything gets fucked up. Look at this. [58:22] Holy shit. [58:25] This is crazy, dude. That one looks kind of AI. But this is like a lot of – That looks a little AI too. That looks a little AI too. A little smooth in the face. Mm-hmm. You know? So it's probably better for – do it again. Run it again from the beginning. See, no. The first couple ones might get you. It's when one seems like obviously really fake. You know what the thing is too? I think it's really good with young people. Mm-hmm. [58:46] Like him, it looks fake for some reason. Yeah, when it got there. He looks fake. But then you realize they all look fake after you see one that looks fake. But not that fake. No. It's just if they did the lighting a little better. [58:57] You know, it looks a little too bright. I wonder if our perception, because the first three look real. I wonder if our perception would change if they put the one of the guy that looks fake first. [59:06] You feel what I'm saying? I don't know because this one looks real. That looks like her. If you just had that one and had her saying a bunch of things, I would think it's her saying a bunch of things. [59:18] That's fucking crazy. We're fucked. We're fucked. We're fucked, man. Anybody who doesn't think we're fucked isn't paying attention. It's going to get super weird. Yeah. And how much of that are they going to use on us in the news? Oh, yeah. Yeah. [59:31] It's – the news is already fucked. But it's – I was thinking about this the other day how it's crazy that because our algorithms are so different – I think this is why everyone gets so charged over news things now is news is the only thing we have in common anymore. Like there's not really a show that like everyone is watching or like a set of shows that everyone is watching. Your algorithm –

[59:51] sends you things that you like, so you're completely disconnected entertainment-wise to the people around you. And the only thing you really have in common is... [1:00:01] What's going on in the world. Right. Because that's the only thing that's consistent. And your opinion's on it. Yes. What side are you on? Yes. Because everything becomes divided. Yes. And you have to have a take on everything. Yeah. Yeah. [1:00:11] vaccines, food pyramid, Gaza. Yeah, everything has to take. Oh, yeah. Oh, we were cooked as a... Like, companies have to do it. Yeah, I've been saying, like, we've been cooked as a country... [1:00:20] I've known we've been cooked as a country ever since Ben and Jerry's had a take on Gaza. It's like there's no reason for this. Yeah. There's no reason for this. Well, there's a lot of – You're a company trying to sell stuff. There's a lot of incentives for companies to like – what is that ESG score? Is that what it is? [1:00:36] What is the score that they give? So companies have DEI scores for favorable loans and for government money. It gets real weird when you start intertwining the – it gets real communist-y. [1:00:51] ESG score evaluates a company's sustainability and ethical impact, measuring its performance in environmental, social, and governance areas such as carbon footprint, labor practices, and board diversity to help investors and stakeholders assess long-term risk and potential. [1:01:21] gauge how well a company manages risk in these non-financial areas influencing reputation

[1:01:26] access to capital. This is what's important. And long-term financial performances. [1:01:33] So climate change impact, resource use, waste pollution, energy efficiency, employee relations, diversity and inclusion, labor standards. So you're essentially forcing the company to act a certain way. You can't do it completely as a meritocracy. You have to have a representative board of people, which a lot of people agree with. None of those people are exceptional. [1:02:03] replace meritocracy right no one really good male or female black white asian whatever no one really good at their job wants that no no because that just gets in the way of the job it's like i have to like work up worry about this social score yeah but fuck off that's kind of what we're like heading towards right well it's less so now with trump in office there was a guy who was a ceo of some company that was talking about the gigantic shift in dealing with the government that had [1:02:33] Like all the restrictions and regulations and – this is one of the problems with California in particular. It's incredibly overregulated, so it's really difficult to do anything, which is one of the reasons why so few people have even begun attempting to rebuild their fucking house. There's regulations everywhere for everything. It's just overregulated. Well, didn't the government buy a lot of that land or are they trying to buy that land right now in the Palisades? I don't think it's government.

[1:03:03] housing and then there was like whether they were going to carve out things without their speculators and there's that famous video of newsom standing in front of the rubble of a burning house go there's been some discussions he's doing that little dance remember that yeah what a sociopath what a freaky dude he's running for president there's no way he's not yeah i mean absolutely running for president good luck dude you think there's a lot of fucking fraud in minnesota just wait till they start digging deep into the fraud in california it's going to take [1:03:33] people to do. It's going to take a long time, but [1:03:37] Look, man. [1:03:38] There's so much money missing. They spent $24 billion on the homeless, and they can't account for it. Is it true that Gavin – let's find out this because I saw this whole article about this that said Gavin Newsom vetoed a bill that would do an audit of where the $24 billion to the homeless went? Well, if their goal was to create more homeless with that money, they did a great job. They did a great job. They did a fantastic job. [1:04:08] The more homeless people they have, the more money they get. The money goes, yep. Which is what? [1:04:12] And then you see the salaries of the people that are working on it. Coleon Noir, my friend that's a Second Amendment advocate who's a lawyer, he was the first guy to tell me about that because he's a lawyer and he was in San Francisco. And he was like, why is there so many homeless people here? It's like, do they need more money? And his friend who was a lawyer goes, no, no, no, no, no. This whole thing is a racket. The more homeless people you have, the more you have to fund the homeless initiative. And then you have this entire ecosystem that's built around the homeless. Right.

[1:04:42] going to executive millions and millions in california 24 billion dollars okay david spade was talking about it this really happened he blocked bills for an audit multiple times bipartisan bipartisan bill ab2903 unanimously passed 72 to zero in the assembly 40 to zero in the senate and would have forced annual public reports on where the money went and newsom [1:05:12] - Thank you. [1:05:12] At a federal level, I'm pretty sure – I think if it goes back to the Senate or the House, they can do a two-thirds vote to pass it anyway. [1:05:21] I don't understand. I don't know how it works. There is legislative ways to override a veto. This veto? Federally. I don't know about on a state level. It says Gavin Newsom also vetoed similar bills, AB 2570 and AB 2093. [1:05:37] Wow. That is crazy. Hey, that money's just gone. $20 billion-plus in missing homeless money went. [1:05:47] That is really wild, man. [1:05:50] that you would veto that, that it passes unanimously, and you're like, nah, playa. That's fucking gangster, dude. That's why you become a governor. It's probably a good move if you're a really shitty mayor of a place like San Francisco, and you ruin it. Better be the governor. Yeah, and stop the investigation. Stop all the fucking loopholes. You know, I would call that good gameplay on Newsom's part. That is what he says. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like looking at politics from an outside perspective. That's some good gameplay right there.

[1:06:20] If it's a game, that's exactly what you should do. Great move. Oh, yeah. It's a great move. Yeah. And now you sort of can launch yourself as this anti-Trump guy and you're like, oh, it's trying to get on this pod. The problem with that dude is – The presidential run is coming. He lies so much he doesn't remember that he lied. [1:06:37] Like, he gets busted. We've never used the term Latinx because Latinos do not like that Latinx bullshit. No. You want to fucking alienate the Mexican-American community? Start calling them Latinx. They're like, bitch, what the fuck are you saying? Well, that's fundamentally. It's a gendered language. Yeah, it's fundamentally against their language. That's the whole point. There are female and male things in their language. It's a gendered language. Yeah, yeah. Latinx is crazy. That's crazy. Stop. [1:07:07] I'm [1:07:07] The really crazy thing is we were talking last night with Jimmy Carr's friend. What was his name? I forgot his name. I'm sorry, sir. Fun guy. Interesting guy. But we got to talking about the different people that lived in America before Columbus got here and before Cortez got here and before all these Spanish explorers turned the entire country into a Spanish-speaking Catholic country, which is really nuts, man. [1:07:37] You want to talk about colonizing. Like those people in Mexico, oh, we respect their religion, their culture. That's the culture of their oppressors from just a few hundred years ago. Right. They lost a hundred different native languages, man.

[1:07:53] They had so many languages in what is now Mexico, but wasn't even Mexico until 1820. Like whatever it was, whatever they called it in the different areas, they had like over 100 different languages. They're just lost in the wind because the fucking conquistadors came through. Yeah. And outnumbered, they were able to do that. Bro. This is crazy. Way outnumbered. Crazy. Bro, they had 13 muskets. That's all they had. 600 dudes, 13 muskets. [1:08:23] over Mexico. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. And then to this day, but here's the gift of gab too. Just able to convince Montezuma that they were God. Well, they showed up with metal. Yeah. They're wearing armor and they're riding horses. And they're like, this is crazy. These guys are riding horses. And there's like a famous, I've almost said La Malinche. [1:08:41] Was like a female native to the area who helped them take them down? Oh, there's quite a few people that helped them. They were very clever what they did because there wasn't united tribes because the Aztecs were absolutely brutal. One of the Spanish chroniclers – [1:09:01] Some... [1:09:02] Thank you. [1:09:04] I forget his name, something Diaz, but one of the Spanish chroniclers before the arrival of Cortez, he was there at the celebration of the completion of one of the temples. I think it was Tenochtitlan, and they killed – [1:09:20] Somewhere between 20,000 as the low end and 80,000 as the high end.

[1:09:28] 20,000 to 80,000 people sacrificed in a four-day ceremony. [1:09:33] That's pretty gangster. So these are the people that were there. So those are not loved people. Right, right. So it was really easy for them to get the other tribes and go, hey, guys, we got horses. We got 13 muskets. With your help. [1:09:46] We can take them down. We can speak Spanish. Yeah. Carnitas. That's so wild. I mean, it's a fucking Mexican word, but it's a Spanish word. Yeah. It's like the language. They had names like Native American names. Right. Like one guy was Cacao Lightning God. That was his name. I did a whole bunch of research on these people because I just got fascinated because [1:10:11] One of the things about the Aztecs is a lot of these, like, super complex temples, they didn't build them. They found them. Oh, yeah. We talk about – like – They called it the place where the gods were born. Yeah. These sort of – [1:10:27] civilizations that clearly probably existed. Because this is something that I think about. [1:10:35] Is like, okay, so do you know the story... [1:10:39] Of the Achaemenid Persian Empire, like, succession? I don't know it in detail, but I'm aware of a lot of it. Right. So you have Cyrus. He has two kids, Cambyses and Bardia. [1:10:50] He splits up the realm between the two. Cambyses goes off to conquer Egypt. But he's like, well, Bardi is popular, so let me secretly kill him.

[1:11:00] And then go off to Egypt. A Magi priest... [1:11:04] then impersonates Bardia. [1:11:07] takes over. [1:11:10] the Achaemen of Persian Empire is the ruler now. Cambyses sort of [1:11:14] dies on the way back mysteriously. [1:11:16] And then a cheminated nobleman named Darius is like, hey, this is a Magi imposter. [1:11:23] kills... [1:11:24] Bardia. [1:11:26] He is now ruling. [1:11:27] Darius leads the Achaemian Persian Empire to be as big as it can be, and he's the father of Xerxes, the bad guy in 300. Wow. So that's – but that is the only official narrative story we have that's from a first – like a primary source. And the only reason we have that is because Darius carved that story in himself into a rock relief. It's called the Behistun Relief. So that story is basically propaganda, but then 50 years later it gets picked up by Herodotus, and that becomes the story of the Ascension. [1:11:57] Right. There's no other primary source on what happened there. You just have to take Darius's word for it. Wow. Yeah. And that's in the fifth century. And the only reason we know that is because someone carved it into a rock. [1:12:08] Bro. Right? Like, we're not carving anything into rocks now. So if – yeah. So if something – let's say like something happens to the internet tomorrow and it disappears and then our civilization just vanishes off the earth, a couple people survive, and they build a whole new civilization. There's all those lines. Is that writing or is that erosion? I believe that's writing. I haven't really – Go back to that primary – the original – Okay. Okay.

[1:12:34] I think it's right. [1:12:35] It looks like cuneiform. [1:12:38] And it's the way it's, yeah. [1:12:41] That's the only reason we know something that happened from that time is because this exists. And we have no idea if it's true. Yeah, we have no idea if it's true. But no one's even carving anything into stone for us. Right. Oh, yeah, look at it. Yeah. There's no way. How dope is that line? Yeah. Look how cool that looks. [1:12:57] Look how cool that looks. That's how people used to write things down, man. [1:13:00] Right. Can AI, like, find – there's got to be some of these. Like, I know there's one from Easter Island that they can't decipher. Have you ever seen that one? No. No. [1:13:11] Graham Hancock explained it. And what he said was essentially the island was a very small island. They got raided by slavers and they took everyone except for like 100 people. And the people that they took and enslaved, they were the ones who knew how to read this language. And then this language was lost forever. [1:13:27] Right. There's one piece of like wood where, yeah, that's it, where it's written on. Look how dope their language looks. Like zoom in. I'm like, how crazy is that, man? Like what are they saying? [1:13:40] We don't know. I wonder if they could throw that through AI and get sort of an understanding of what these symbols were. But you'd have to have a base. That was the thing about the Rosetta Stone. The Rosetta Stone really helped people in Egypt because you're like, oh, this is how it's written in Greek. And this is – okay, now we know what it's said in multiple languages. Now we get an understanding of it. Yeah. But so the overall point being though is like –

[1:14:06] When you're a mid-sized business, you need every competitive advantage you can get. Like an AI solution that works for you, not against you. SAP Grow is built with AI embedded at its core, working across every system, and it's ready to go from day one so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI cloud ERP for any size business. [1:14:31] In our time, if the internet disappears and we're gone, there's nothing from this time that's really being recorded. It'll just be lost. Oh yeah, all the hard drive stuff, gone, forever. Yeah, just be lost. We'll have to relearn things. Yeah, but our time, the Americans, there'll just be some ancient thing that people might not know ever existed. It says about the, it's called the wrong... [1:14:53] "Rongorongo, a glyph-based script from Easter Island, remains undeciphered despite over a century of study." Imagine you're studying it for a century. You can't figure out that language. People's whole lives have been dedicated to this. No one knows exactly what it says, as all attempts to translate it fully have failed, with scholars debating if it's true writing or proto-writing used as a memory aid. [1:15:16] A memory aid. Yeah, lines alternate direction, often upside down. Oh, so that's so hard. Even the direction is... [1:15:23] ever changing. You're not writing right to left. You're just kind of going wherever you want with it. What is the latest on the Voynich manuscripts? Has anybody thrown that through AI to try to see if it makes any sense? Do you know about that? Yeah. Was it, were they found on a guy? Was that one of them? No, it's some weird book. And the question is whether or not this book is just complete gibberish and nonsense or whether it's some lost language and where it's, it's really

[1:15:53] published... [1:15:56] Knobby Cipher, is that what it's called? Mm-hmm. [1:15:59] Um... [1:16:00] Published November 26, 2025 in Cryptologia by science journalist Michael Greshko, introduced the Nabi cipher, which uses 14th century Italian playing cards and dice to encode Latin or Italian text into glyphs, mimicking the Voynich manuscript's Voyniches. This cipher replicates key statistical features like glyph frequencies, word lengths, grammar rules, [1:16:30] could have generated the original 15th century text, although it does not decode it. [1:16:34] Wow. [1:16:36] Have you seen it? See, you can find images of it. It's freaky. Where was it found? That's a really good question. Yeah, yeah. Let's find that out now. The Voynich Ninja. There's like groups dedicated to this. People are obsessed with it. I mean, they've been studying it. This is a fun thing to be obsessed with. Just do me a favor and just go back to perplexity and say, how was it discovered? Yeah. I'm curious. [1:16:59] Because I feel like someone had it and someone bought it from someone. [1:17:05] I thought... [1:17:06] I could have been wrong. I thought it was found on a body. [1:17:09] I could be wrong about that. I might be thinking of another thing. It was rediscovered in 1912 by Polish-American rare books dealer Wilfred Voynich. Okay. He named it himself. What a clever guy. I like that. Fuck it. Something of mine survived. It's mine, bitch. They say you died. The second time you die is when someone says your name less, so we're just keeping him alive. He acquired it from the Jesuit college in Frascati, Italy as a part of a batch of 30 manuscripts discreetly sold amidst the Jesuits' financial difficulties.

[1:17:39] Many of these motherfuckers in the Vatican are sitting on some shit that they don't have to sell. Oh, yeah. That would, like, change the world completely. Change the world. Yeah. Carbon dating places its creation around 1404 to 1438, likely in northern Italy. [1:17:53] Emperor Rudolf II bought it in the late 1500s for 600 gold ducats, possibly from John D. It later passed to Jacobus. How about this guy's name? Jacobus Horsiki de Pepe. [1:18:08] Dependence. Eastern European stuff. That feels like. Dependence. But you can't even. The problem is there's some names like Joanna Janjacek. If you saw the way it's written, there's no way you would pronounce it correctly. Any of those Eastern European names. It's like, how did you even get that? Stayed in Jesuit hands until 1912. He publicized the undeciphered codex. Now at Yale's Beinecke Library, sparking global interest despite failed decoding attempts. [1:18:38] Pull up some images of it so you can see what it looks like. [1:18:42] It's real weird, man. [1:18:43] It's real weird and has detailed illustrations. Of like plants and stuff. Oh, here we go. [1:18:48] Listen, here's a little video. [1:18:51] So you can see how cool it looks when they're opening up the book. Anything that you're getting that's a book that's from the fucking 1400s, 1200? When is it from? [1:19:01] 1500s? 1500s? 16th century, 1400s. So, 1400s. Any book that you're getting from the 1400s is fucking wild as it is. Just imagine these fucking people living back then, writing this shit down with a feather. Just touching it with their bare hands, huh? Yeah, you have to. It's actually worse to do it with gloves. Really? Yeah, they found out that gloves, the rubber is more abrasive. Than your finger? The oils of your finger is actually more protective, or something along those lines. Wow. Look how cool that looks, though.

[1:19:31] And they don't know if that's a real language. That's what's nuts. [1:19:34] You can't decode it. This is a good YouTube rabbit hole. It's a good one. Yeah. It's an interesting one because people say it's a hoax, but the thing about it is if it's a hoax, it's like really well done and very complex and an incredible amount of time. The fact that it's still tripping up people now is like it's an all-time great hoax then. Sort of, but think about how many languages we've lost. Like we just talked about 100 languages were lost somewhere around that in what is now considered Mexico. [1:20:04] Here's another instance. Mobs of indigenous people in Australia, the Aborigines, they call themselves mobs instead of a tribe. They have mobs that will live 6, 10 kilometers away that speak a completely different language. They're all over the place. [1:20:26] and they don't have these things written anywhere. [1:20:29] So there's a bunch of their languages that are just spoken orally. And just disappear. And they will disappear. And we don't know how many languages there are. [1:20:37] Like my friend Adam Greentree, he used to own a mining company in Australia, and he employed a lot of Aborigines. He knows a lot about the culture. [1:20:45] He was like, dude, it's the craziest history because a lot of it is not written down and there's a lot of horrible tragedy and genocide attached to it. There's a cave that you can go to where they gave this mob of Aborigines poison food on purpose, like a whole crew of them. And so there's like just their bones are in this cave still to this day. He goes, dude, it's the darkest fucking thing you've ever seen in your life. You think about this family and their children, they're starving. And these people, these...

[1:21:13] You know, white people in Australia were essentially prisoners that England shipped over there. Right. Just gave them poison. And just, damn. Damn. [1:21:24] That's, yeah. Damn. And they got, bro, they got some crazy rock art. You ever see the glyphs of, like, alien-looking dudes and shit? Oh, yeah. And shit and, like. Yeah, there's, like, people with, like, rocket, that look like they're in rocket ships and space suits. Yeah. What information, what stories, what is their version of the Bible that we missed? [1:21:43] Well, it's probably – Because they never wrote it down. Yeah. There's something to do with a large flood. That seems to be consistent. The Hopi had that. Yeah. Something to do with a large flood and something to do with some sort of either dragon or serpent type bad guy. [1:21:55] Right. Those are the two main consistent things across most cultures. Some large flood event and some snake. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's all. And I wonder what the snake in the Bible really look like because in – [1:22:10] In the Adam and Eve story, anytime you see a picture painted of it, it's painted as a snake. But the snake's punishment was it lost its limbs. [1:22:18] So this was a dragon. [1:22:22] Right? Because the snake's punishment was it has to slith on the ground. But is that the snake's punishment forever? Is that like why God did that to the snakes, period? I think so. I think that's the whole... [1:22:33] Right, but doesn't that just explain what a snake looks like rather than describe a dragon? [1:22:40] Like, why does it have limbs? God took away its limbs. You know what I mean? That's what you're saying. Maybe it's reversed. It seems like it's reversed. Yeah, maybe I just really wanted to be a dragon. Yeah. It seems like, how come they don't get to have legs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How come you don't get to have wings, bitch?

[1:22:56] You know? Because if you really think about it, like, there are so many different stories. This is why, like, you know, The View, like, that's that famous Joy Behar clip where she said he believes in dragons. Great clip. It's awesome. [1:23:10] with Forrest Gallant, who's a wildlife biologist. He's like, [1:23:13] There's a lot of depictions of these flying serpents and large serpents with wings all over the world. [1:23:22] It's weird. Right. It is really weird. Yeah, it's like a thing. It's really weird. And we know some dinosaurs flew. [1:23:28] So there might have been some – do you think there's some sort of cross? Well, here's the thing. The Congo has had a legend of some sort of a large dinosaur-like creature forever to the point where explorers have made their way into the Congo to try to find this thing. Okay. That resembles – I think it resembles a brontosaurus. [1:23:49] That could fly? No, no, no. That was in the jungle. So the question is... [1:23:55] Is it possible that a creature could live for an extended period of time and then maybe in the 1100s or 1,000 years ago or 2,000 years ago they slaughtered them all and killed them off? Maybe they have a long gestation period like an elephant. Maybe. Maybe it's possible they realized these things were a threat. They knew where they'd end up. There was a small population anywhere and they killed them off. Right. Maybe. [1:24:19] Maybe. [1:24:21] It's not likely. There's no bones. There's no nothing. But there's no bones of most things. That's the thing. Most things that die do not leave a fossil. And then they find things that they thought were extinct.

[1:24:34] Not just extinct, but extinct for millions and millions of years. One of them is the coelacanth. You know about the coelacanth? No. So the coelacanth is this crazy-looking dinosaur fish that is unchanged from... [1:24:48] God, I want to say... [1:24:50] tens of millions of years. I don't know how old, but when you look at it, you're like, yo, look at that thing. And then they caught one once. They caught it. Like, I don't know, it was a fishing net or a fishing boat, but they caught one. And then they realized, like, oh, my God, these things are still alive. Like, we thought this was a part of the fossil record. Bam. And then they realized that there's parts of the ocean that we just haven't explored and these things. And then they've caught a bunch of them since. And then other fishermen have caught them. [1:25:20] it and they found they how old is the coelacanth like how long has it been around for [1:25:25] Thank you. [1:25:28] Man, that's so- I hope I'm saying the word right. That's so wild to not find one for years and then all of a sudden you just find a bunch. Well, they found a few. Well, now that they know they exist, they're looking in that area. They kind of know what to look for. And they're fishing in that area and they caught them. [1:25:40] Can you show me an image of the coelacanth? Oh, I think there's a YouTube channel that I think you'd really like called, like... [1:25:47] I think it's called... It just goes and looks through what the earth looked like [1:25:53] and [1:25:54] Like in different eras. So that's that Freaky Fish. Oh, yeah, I've seen this. It's armored. It's got like these crazy scales on it. It just looks like a throwback.

[1:26:05] Um... [1:26:07] So three, hold up, go up. Relatives being the first left sees 385. Okay. Um, [1:26:14] So they're not our direct ancestors, but they're still relatives of beings that first left the seas. They left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals. Damn, and this is like a common link? So – [1:26:28] What they're saying is there's creatures that left. So something like that left the sea 385 million years ago and became four-legged terrestrial animals from which we sprung. And these relatives are still alive today. So how long has the coelacanth been? [1:26:44] been around. Check that out. [1:26:46] So it says, in 1938, floating off the South African coast in the Indian Ocean, fishermen from the Irvine caught an unknown creature. It weighed 188 pounds, 5 feet in length, dark blue in color, and... [1:27:02] This is not a fish, not just any fish that scales, fins and limbs, or more precisely rudiments thereof. [1:27:14] Moreover, there were seven of them, two in the back, three on the belly, and another pair on the head. They had limbs on their head? [1:27:21] Whoa. Damn. Should we know the local population occasionally caught these creatures and didn't even come up with a name for them? [1:27:27] which can be translated as bitter fish. Love that. Just eat it first. Find out later. The residents knew that it was nearly inedible. It was consumed due to the belief that its meat helped to cope with malaria symptoms. Yo. Although it was possible to make something like sandpaper from their extremely strong and bristly scales. So when did they think – look at what it looked like. That's crazy. That's crazy.

[1:27:51] That's wild. That thing looks scary. It looks like a monster. With all those weird appendages. Right. Eventually made its way onto the shore. Yeah. Nuts, man. [1:28:03] How long ago was that? [1:28:04] Like how long did they think that thing had been extinct for? [1:28:08] Thank you. [1:28:09] You'd have to look that up. Just put up – put into perplexity the history of the coelacanth. [1:28:19] I was trying to find out how to spell it. [1:28:22] Thank you. [1:28:22] Okay, here we go. How old is this motherfucker? [1:28:27] 420 million years. Wow. Rediscovered. Damn, bro. That's wild. Wow. They thought it had been extinct for 66 million years. And it was just living. [1:28:40] Whoa. Dude, to live that long, that's pretty crazy. That's incredible. [1:28:46] Yeah, that's... That's incredible. Mm-hmm. So this thing... [1:28:51] That was alive 400 million years ago is still alive today. They thought it was extinct for 68 million years. Is it possible that there's something else like that that's on land? Less likely, I think. I think ocean is more likely. Well, it's more undiscovered, right? Not just that. It's also more protective of environmental change. [1:29:11] Right. So it's probably less dependent on all that, like, especially if you're a sea predator, you're probably less dependent on, you know, all the plants growing and nuclear winter that's happening on the fucking surface. Right. Everything dies off and the Ice Age comes and it's fucking meteor dust everywhere. Right. You can survive. You can survive a lot of stuff like climate change. You're not worried about that, really. Probably you are, but it's probably something more things would probably survive in the ocean, I would imagine. Yeah, that makes more sense.

[1:29:41] and crocodiles. Aren't they like, aren't like, isn't like, aren't like sharks older than trees or something like that? Older than trees. Yeah. Older than trees. Such a mind fuck to think about. Yeah. Yeah, there's something that could be older than trees. Yeah, and they still are essentially in the same form. Mm-hmm. [1:29:57] Just fucking swimming, eating machines. Apex predators forever. You hear about that lady off Santa Cruz that got got the other day? No, but have you read that book about the – I read that book about the shark attacks in 1916. Oh, yeah, in New Jersey? Yeah, close to shore where it's like – oh, damn. It's in a river. Yeah, it went in a freshwater river. Yeah. But they also didn't think sharks were dangerous at that time. That's so crazy. Like that was – in that time, there were people like, oh, sharks, they're just like sea puppies. They'll leave you alone. [1:30:23] That was a thought. Part of the reason why that stuck out to people were like, oh, sharks are like dangerous creatures, especially bull sharks. Yeah. Sharks are the ones that can swim all the way up to like they made their way to Illinois. [1:30:36] Oh, yeah, and they're more aggressive than the Great Whites, right? Oh, yeah. They're hyper-aggressive. But they make their way all the way up freshwater rivers, all the way up into cold environments. [1:30:47] Fucking Illinois had bull sharks in fresh water. Just a fresh water shark. How much of a bad luck do you have to be in a river and get attacked by a shark? It was your time to go. You got your legs dangling out of an inner tube. Yeah. Just chopped up. And all of a sudden you feel this sharp pain and you see red in the water and you realize your leg's gone. Yeah, it takes you a second to realize your leg is gone too because it's so sharp and so, yeah. It slices through and you don't expect it. Jeez, yeah.

[1:31:17] And you look down, you see the white of your kneecap. Everything underneath it is just torn tissue. And fuck. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't think it was dangerous at the time like that. Isn't that crazy? That's so wild. That's so wild. All the way up until 1916. In fact, some people thought sharks were just something that sailors made up. [1:31:34] Whoa. Yeah, just like, oh, this giant sea creature that'll eat you. [1:31:38] They don't know what they're talking about. Like this is just a sea myth. Well, it's also when you think about it, when people came to America, because there's no sharks in England. There's no sharks in Ireland. Right. They don't have a problem over there. So when they came to America… [1:31:50] There was only like... [1:31:52] We're talking about this shark attack was in the early 1900s, right? Yes, 1916. So think about that. There's only like a couple hundred years of people even being here. Right. And... [1:32:02] That year was like a perfect storm of like the beach became like an acceptable thing to go lounge at. Before that, it wasn't a thing. You even tried to twist it to say that it was trying to attack the dog, not the person. The person was in the way. Yeah, he's dogs. What? It does lay out certain things like if you are swimming with a dog, you're more likely to get attacked by a shark. Interesting. And it's like something like a full moon. Like the moon really regulates sharks' emotions. [1:32:32] attacks happen on full moons. Oh, fuck. There's certain things. Yeah, apparently having the dog, they never attack the dog. [1:32:38] Really? But the dog attracts – something about how they swim attacks the shark. Dogs don't get killed by sharks? They will attack the person. [1:32:46] Really? Mm-hmm. Wow. The book lays it out. There is something – there is like a –

[1:32:53] Like a coordinate – like there are a bunch of different factors that sort of apply to that. Whoa. Mm-hmm. [1:32:59] I don't think there's anything alive right now. [1:33:03] that is dinosaur-like. [1:33:05] But I wonder how long they stuck around for. [1:33:09] How long some of them stayed? Just the last vegetables. If crocodiles and alligators didn't exist, like let's just imagine crocodiles didn't exist. The big ones, the Nile crocodiles. Let's imagine no one thought there was a crocodile. It's nonsense. And then one day someone got a video of one in the Congo. [1:33:26] You'd be like, no, dinosaurs are real. Right. That's a dinosaur. That is a straight-up dinosaur. Right. [1:33:34] Yeah, it's a giant lizard. [1:33:35] That is technically what's left. This dude, Josh Bomar, he's a bow hunter, and he just killed a world record crocodile, and I think it was in Tanzania. Actually, I think he might have did it like two years ago. [1:33:47] This thing is so... [1:33:49] big. I think it's like 17 feet long and it's probably over 100 years old. [1:33:57] He killed it with a bow. Look at the size of that thing. God. [1:34:00] Now, imagine if that thing didn't exist, if no one thought that that thing existed. And then you saw that. And then you saw that. You'd be like, yeah, that's a monster that I saw. Look at the size of that thing, man. Like if nobody went to Tanzania ever, if it was just a place that no one went to, and then people went there and they saw that, they're like, oh my god, dinosaurs are still alive. Right. Because that's a fucking dinosaur. Yeah, that's a thing. Period. Full stop. You would, yeah, you'd be absolutely afraid of that. You could call it a crocodile, whatever.

[1:34:30] It's a species of dinosaurs that made it. [1:34:32] It's still here. Like when did crocodiles first evolve? 83 to 95 million years ago, late Cretaceous. Younger than the coelacanth. [1:34:41] Yeah, crazy. Up to 250 million years ago. Still young in the sea of the camp. Still young. By 100 million years. Well, it's probably the ancestor that came to shore and said he'd eat and shit. Right, right. Yeah. I mean, if everything came out of the ocean, allegedly... [1:34:53] Ooh, okay, there is something. So there is something that I do. It's like a gratefulness thing that I do. [1:34:59] Every year because this is like a big moment for me in my career. I just released a special. I'm walking away from – I'm like not working social media at the club anymore. I'm like making steps out. So this is a YouTube video that I watch. Every time something like sort of big happens to me or like I'm on a crossroads and it's – have you ever seen this – [1:35:17] Mr. Rogers Emmy acceptance speech. Have you seen this? No. Okay. Can we pull that up, Jamie? And it's like a three minute video, but like genuinely, cause I'm, cause I'm going to do it too. I want you to do what he says. [1:35:29] Okay. Yeah, yeah. It's just a quick little thing. Okay. Yeah, and I'm... Yeah, yeah. Let's see it. Yeah. [1:35:50] For giving generation upon generation of children confidence in themselves... [1:35:57] for being their friend

[1:36:01] for telling them again and again and again that they are special and that they have worth. [1:36:07] It is my honor... [1:36:09] on behalf of everyone here. [1:36:11] and on behalf of the millions of children [1:36:14] whose mornings [1:36:15] You have brightened with your kindness. [1:36:18] to present you with this Lifetime Achievement Award. [1:36:33] Oh, it's a beautiful night in this neighborhood. [1:36:39] So many people have helped me to come to this night. [1:36:43] Some of you are here. [1:36:45] Some are far away. [1:36:48] Some are even in heaven. [1:36:51] All of us have special ones who have loved us into being. [1:36:56] Would you just take-- [1:36:58] along with me, [1:37:00] 10 seconds. [1:37:02] to think of the people who have helped you [1:37:05] become who you are. [1:37:08] those who have cared about you [1:37:11] and wanted what was best for you in life. [1:37:15] Ten seconds of silence. [1:37:17] I'll watch the time. [1:37:19] Amen.

[1:37:34] Whomever you've been thinking about [1:37:36] how pleased they must be to know the difference you feel they've made. [1:37:42] You know, they're the kind of people television does well to offer our world. [1:37:48] Special thanks to my family. [1:37:51] and friends [1:37:53] and to my coworkers in public broadcasting, [1:37:56] Family communications. [1:37:59] And this academy... [1:38:00] for encouraging me, [1:38:03] allowing me [1:38:05] all these years. [1:38:07] to be your neighbor. [1:38:09] May God be with you. Thank you very much. [1:38:13] He seemed like the real deal. Yeah. Yeah. [1:38:16] Yeah. [1:38:16] Who do you think about? I'm glad nothing ever came out about him. Yeah, for real, right? He wasn't like Jimmy Savile. I'm happy he was the real deal. He really does seem like he is. Who do you think about? [1:38:25] Oh, do I want to say it publicly? Yeah, if you don't have to. Oh, you know, family, personal people, you know. But, you know, you and I in particular are very fortunate. We have a lot of people that help us be who we are. Yes. You know, and that is like the one thing that I think we really highlight at the club is that we really are all happy. We really are all lucky. And we really enjoy our time together. Yeah. [1:38:55] I'm so happy too. [1:38:59] I would say the scene is like incredibly, incredibly supportive of each other.

[1:39:04] In a way that like it's nice I guess in this sort of new system that we live in too where like you can just make it on your own. Like you don't need – like I'm not auditioning for a spot. [1:39:13] That Fuzzy's auditioning for because we're both brown. [1:39:16] Right. Like in the old days. Yeah, there's no reason for me to be like, damn, I hope he doesn't get this. Right. [1:39:24] You know There's like It's a system of like Oh dude We can all just create And then help each other Yes Like piggyback off each other And like that's It's like such a Refreshing experience to have It really is The rising tide lifts all boats And that's how it should be And it happens everywhere too Cause like You know Obviously you're at the mothership And you see how hard The door guys there crush But like [1:39:44] I'll go to Sunset and Sunset has some fucking killers as door guys now, especially because like they came up in this experience where Sunset, you know, famously the ceilings are high and like the room can be cavernous, can feel cavernous when it's like tight. And so they come up in a harsher like mothership. The rooms are set up for comedy. [1:40:05] It never happened that way. The guy died before he could make it what he wanted to make it. And Redman came in and just sort of saved it so he can open at the very least. So it's like they come up in these harsh situations. And like, there's this one there's this one kid at sunset. His name is what kid is very funny. He's the grown man. But Mumford Davis, he closes every single episode. [1:40:27] Death Squad. [1:40:29] Which is like 18 hours long. So he closes every single one, goes up in front of a tired beat audience, and now he's just an absolute monster. Running with ankle weights on. Yeah. I mean he's running with the biggest ankle weights on. To go at the end of that in that room, they're tired. They've been there forever. But you think about it. That's how Kinnison came up. Kinnison was the – that was the Kinnison spot, was the last spot at the OR. Yeah.

[1:40:55] And think about his style, that screaming, yelling in your face. That's designed to shock an audience back to life. Right, just try to keep it going. That's Don Barris. That's Brian Holtzman. Those guys that developed that act, they could just jolt you out of your complacency. It's kind of by necessity. Right, how to just keep someone's attention. Yes. Bringing it back is just so impressive. That's what I miss about the comedy stories. [1:41:25] I left before I got past, so I never got those late-night OR spots. Those one-in-the-morning, six people just survived. I mean, some of my best sets, favorite sets I've seen people have are in those spots. They're like, damn, you really made this work. Well, sometimes reality shines through. They have a real moment on stage where the comedy is just like – people are like, oh, shit. I remember Laura Bites had a set one time, and I even posted it. [1:41:55] so hard in front of, there was only like 25 people in the room. Right. And by the time she was off stage, there was 50 people in the room because people were coming in from other places to come and watch her set. Yeah. When you hear that noise, you're like, okay, what's going on here? She was just on fire. [1:42:08] She was killing. Yeah, it's like those spots are nice because it's like, you know, your jokes – you have to work your jokes to get to a certain point where like my jokes are funny enough to showcase and work at the club. And now that I'm at this level – [1:42:20] I got the jokes. Now, can I be funny? Right. You know, beyond like what my written, can I be just funny? Me as a person. Yeah. You can kind of really hone that in those sort of late night things.

[1:42:32] tough rooms yeah you gotta do those yeah yeah and that's why you know the store at the end of the day even through hard and like good times and tough times at the store that's the reason why they always create monsters yeah the store creates monsters and mitzi knew what she was doing you know she had a method to her madness and she tweaked it and got it to the perfect form yes actually use a similar form here yeah it's it's kind of like the method to make comedy happen it's like [1:43:02] Can you follow monsters? Right. Can you follow monsters? That's the best part about being at the ship. I've had to follow Theo and Shane and be like, damn, I just got to do this. And then you have to follow... [1:43:19] The emerging stars, too, because then they have a whole separate energy to them. Like, I remember... [1:43:25] Following both Cam and James McCann after they both started popping and being like, whoa. Just watching the energy around them shift. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. He lost McCann to Australia. I know. He'll be back. He's got to be back. He'll be back. I can't believe. [1:43:39] Had to go back. So funny, though. [1:43:41] He's the best. He's one of my favorite guys out there. Because he's got such a unique... It's his perspective. You don't expect it. It's coming out of him. If you think the way he does, you get it. It's really smart. Really funny. High energy, too. Because usually this hyper-intelligent [1:44:01] go... [1:44:02] Low energy.

[1:44:03] It's very rare that a hyper-intelligent person who's intelligent on stage on purpose like he is goes high energy. That's what makes him unique to me too. Usually when comics are being smart on stage. [1:44:19] And I'll do this too. They go soft. [1:44:21] They go, look at me think. Yeah. McCann's like, I have the energy of I'm in a bar yelling at you, but it's about Kyrgyzstan. Yeah. You know? Yeah. [1:44:36] Yeah, we're lucky, dude. Yeah, the scene is thriving. Yeah. Yeah, there's so many places to go. That's why I did mine at Black Rabbit. Just a small little black box room that's been like – I've had sets there and it's like 10 people and they're amazing. [1:44:51] Wow. Yeah, they're just there for comedy. A lot of them tend to be these sort of just out of college kids who can't really afford to go to any of the clubs. They just have money for the first time. We're like, oh, we can go to this little spot, like $10 tickets. [1:45:06] Just get introduced to comedy. It's a bit of a younger audience there. [1:45:10] Well, there's just – how many spots are just on our street? On our street? I mean, like, there's – Within our street, like within close. That you can walk to? Count Cap City because it's like one block over. [1:45:21] not Cap City, I'm sorry. Vulcan. No. And Sunset. Creek in the Cave. Creek in the Cave is one over. Okay, in that area you have Vulcan, [1:45:31] Sunset Creek

[1:45:34] Velveeta. [1:45:36] And then Bulls. [1:45:37] These are bars that run comedy at least three to four times a week. [1:45:44] Oh, fuck. I'm forgetting one of the places. [1:45:49] I'm blanking on it now. But Bulls, Black Rabbit. [1:45:52] If you want to count Roscoe's in East Austin, they're a little bit down the road, but they're still kind of in the downtown area. [1:45:57] So it's nine right there. Narbar, that's the one I was thinking about. That's ten. Shakespeare's runs it a bunch, and Maggie Mays runs it, I think, three times a week. So it's at least twelve... [1:46:07] Pretty much dedicated comedy rooms, and that's not including Mike's. [1:46:10] That's crazy. That's not including mics. Just in the area. When you say mics, for people who don't know, you mean open mics. Yeah, just open mics. You're talking about booked clubs of professional comedians. Yeah, these are shows with people. And some of them are rough bar shows, but they are shows and they're booked. [1:46:24] Wow. Yeah, and you can get on... You can walk. There's so many ways to come up. Oh, you can walk. You can walk. I've had nights where I've had... [1:46:33] Five sets and none of them were at the mothership. Wow. I'm just – you're just out and about. [1:46:39] Yeah, it is so... [1:46:42] And it's just different people getting up in different places. It's each different place has their own ecosystem of comics who... You know, because you go... [1:46:50] You go where it gives you time. That's the right way to go no matter what. Just whatever is feeding you, that's where you go. So there's different ecosystems in each place. It's really fun. And you just get to see people like...

[1:47:05] Man, just figure it out, and it's fun to watch, and they'll figure it out on the podcast end. They'll figure it out on the comedy end, and it all sort of works together. It's got to be extra dope for you too because you were an early – [1:47:18] The Settler. Man, I feel like I got to the gold rush in 48. [1:47:24] I feel like – because when I got here – [1:47:27] There was only three. It was me, Hans, Kim, and Derek, and Dylan. Dylan was eight years in. But those were the only four of us that were like... [1:47:34] Not famous headliners. [1:47:36] that weren't [1:47:37] new comics basically. Right. So we got to just do so many shows that, [1:47:42] Because there was no middle class. It was like California. It was all upper class and all lower class. Now it's robust. Now there's just a bunch of killers that are just moving here all the time. There's this guy Nick Murphy moved from Atlanta. [1:47:59] What year did you move here? [1:48:02] 2021. Oh, okay. I moved here early. I got on a Zoom... I got on a... [1:48:06] With Dylan Sullivan, I used to play this – I used to play – we used to play Game Nights from the pandemic online with our friends because we weren't allowed out, right? And so he pulled me aside one day on Discord and was like, you got to move here, and he made the pitch. [1:48:19] Wow. And then I was like – I was pretty much there and then Derek moved here and he was like, you got to – And this was just when we were doing shows out of the Vulcan. This was just shows out of the Vulcan. This was just – but it was indoor shows, man. Yeah. And so I moved here and then I was like – because the way I looked at it was – [1:48:34] Like, look, either I'm going to...

[1:48:35] Thank you. [1:48:36] Like LA's going to reopen and I'll be working at the comic store again and I will have at least gotten up in that time. [1:48:42] And gotten paid. [1:48:43] To go up because they pay for every spot here. Right. If you're booked. So it's like at least got paid. [1:48:48] And so I was like – and then I'll go back to LA with a little glitch. [1:48:53] So when you came here, it was just like, look, I'll get some spots. I'll get paid. And if the comedy store reopens, I'll go back. Yeah, I'll go back. And or the club was still two weeks, two years away from opening. But it's like, I'll stick it out to the club and see what happens. We were just starting to talk about club back then. Right. Yeah. You had put it on the universe and that was enough for me to be like, I think he's gonna get that done. [1:49:15] And so I took a chance and it ended up working and then I ended up being one of the first people like pass through there which ended up a huge, huge blessing because now there's so many killers that it's like hard to get in the mothership. Yeah. There's so many like people who have moved. It's like – I almost tell people like it's a major city in that way in the sense of like if you can get good where you are first and then move to Austin – [1:49:41] That might be better now than a blind move to Austin. Right, as an opener. Yeah. As a beginner. As a beginner. Yeah, it's hard as a beginner. Yeah. It's like L.A. was for a while. Oh, L.A. is super tough. I imagine New York is super tough as well. The store was really tough. If you wanted to go from open mic to actual spots, like, bro, you got to do spots somewhere else. Right. You really should be better. You're better off coming there with potential, like you've already gotten a few years under your belt. Than, like, trying to figure it out. Yeah. Because the L.A. mics are especially brutal.

[1:50:11] it wouldn't have worked [1:50:12] Like that was the thing. It's like the people that really are responsible for the movement, the crazy new scene here are the ones who came before the club was open. Brian Simpson, Tom Segura. Segura was here early, man. Right. I told him about it. He's like, I'm fucking moving. And then, bam, I was like, whoa. And when Tom moved, I was like, that's a big deal, you know, because Tom was already doing arenas. Yeah. It required a certain amount of people to buy in. Yeah. [1:50:42] Because of that, I'm very pro-Austin. Like, man, if you buy in, look what can happen. Yeah. There's just stuff you can do. No one should not be pro-Austin. It's funny because Louis and Tony were going back and forth and arguing. Like, Louis shits on the Austin scene. Right. This New York versus Austin thing is the stupidest fucking thing of all time. They should both be awesome. Who cares? Yeah, it's unnecessary. It's unnecessary, like, infight. It's like catty girl fighting. It's like, we both clearly can exist. [1:51:09] in a space where we can also help each other [1:51:12] New York guys are always here and we're I feel like we're always there. But the point is what what Tony and Lewis were going back and forth. And Lewis said, well, L.A. isn't even in consideration anymore. What's the best place for comedy in the country? And Tony goes, agreed. [1:51:30] And why do you think that is? What do you think happened? Where did those people go? And Lewis is like, oh, shit. [1:51:40] But, you know, I will say this because I was just in L.A. I like where the L.A. scene is at. It's rebuilding stronger.

[1:51:46] Of course it is. It's the store. It's LA. It's Hollywood. It goes through dips. It's done it before. When I got there, it was at a low. When I came in 94, the OR was half empty, main room was never full, and then there was no big talent there. It's always like that. It comes, it goes, new people come up. It's legendary. It's got a vibe to it. It creates comedy just by existing. [1:52:07] Yeah, it's like it's still every time they're like, man, this is the fucking place. It's the fucking place, man. That's been a place since 1970 something. I mean. [1:52:15] That place is crazy. Yeah. You could do it. The building is alive in that place. That's crazy. Yeah, you feel it. It's soaked with the memories of Kinnison and Hicks and Pryor. Here's what's crazy. You know the bucket seats in the back? Yeah. If you go during the day. [1:52:31] They might have repainted the wall. So this is when I worked there. But when you go during the day, because I'd get there early and like right or whatever, and you can look – [1:52:38] where the bucket seats are the outline of all the heads because of all the oil of the people leaning back was just there. So you were just there and it's just the energy of all these great comics just in the room with you. Yeah, it was it was it was an interesting place to like be during the day because you could do a very special place. Very special place. You never get to take away from that. But the thing is, it's like, [1:53:02] It should be, and it will be, even better than it used to be, I'm sure. But the point is, it's like denying that Austin is an amazing scene is just stupid. Yes. It's just stupid. And also, don't you want another great scene? [1:53:16] Do you want a limited amount of options for comedians? Don't you want more comics, more comedy? Yeah.

[1:53:22] Right, and more places for you to end up performing. Shut up. Like, now you can go to Austin and spend a couple weeks there and get a lot of time. [1:53:29] Learn how to talk to people here. There's so many bitches in this world. There's so many bitches. And those bitches never get anything done. They just sit and bitch. And this and that and that and this and that and this. Nothing ever gets done. Yeah, yeah. They never progress. [1:53:45] yeah man just video essays i watch all the video essays yeah that's so funny why would you watch it's just so funny to me because they all start they all the the whole concept that austin is ruined comedy is very funny to me because there's so many comics that are blowing up outside everywhere all the time it's just it's yeah it's like my friend said it's a walled garden [1:54:07] That's what it is. It seems like the people are having too much fun. And if you're not there and if you don't have aspirations to be there, you feel bad about it. When I lived in Boston, the store was like mecca. People would talk about it. It was like you had to make the pilgrimage to the comedy store. It was one of the first things I did when I came to L.A. Oh, no, it's a big deal. The first time you go there, I remember looking at it being just the feeling in my heart. [1:54:27] The first time I went there... [1:54:29] I hadn't even moved there yet. I went there just to watch. I told them I was a comedian from New York. I'm like, can I go and watch a set? [1:54:35] I'm like, yeah, sure. And they let me come in and I sat in the back and watched and it was like boat acts. It was terrible. It was really bad. It was like a bunch of cruise ship acts, like a bunch of guys with the same act from the 1970s. They had never, you know, those dudes that like, you'll see them at the store occasionally now that have an act from the 80s. [1:54:51] Well, these dudes, it was like a decade earlier. Yeah, when I worked at La Jolla, there was one guy that they booked that they had like some deal with Mitzi that he got to perform once a year at the La Jolla. And man, you can just tell, man, it's been...

[1:55:03] You haven't changed this act since the 70s. Yeah. They just never evolved. And they weren't getting spots when Kinnison was around. The place was packed. And then Kinnison left – [1:55:15] Then he had a billboard. He put a billboard right in front of the comedy store of his new album that was coming out. Why did he leave the store? Oh, I don't know. [1:55:24] He probably did something stupid. Okay. I think he definitely fired off a gun because he – remember he shot the – The bullet hole is still there. Yeah. Yeah. I heard they fixed the sign though. No, it's bad. They fixed the plastic. Yeah, they might have. I think the plastic was falling apart, but they kept the bullet hole because the bullet hole is still there. Okay. Yeah, I went and looked. I made sure. Pretty crazy. The kid is in bullet holes like – [1:55:45] Part of the thing there. Yeah. But the cracked glass was also part of the thing. Yeah. But I think eventually it just fell apart. It's been like 40 years since that happened. I mean, that might have been what got him banned. Not sure. But then he was banned. And then when I came, it was 94, so he was already dead. He was dead and Hicks was dead. So it was weird. OK. And so that was a lot. That was a lot was from there. Just kind of missing that top. Yeah, guy. There was a low and guys would occasionally drop in to work out. [1:56:13] But they didn't put their name on the marquee. No one ever knew they were going to be there. Like Chris Rock would come in and work out. Damon would come in and work out. But the big comics were there like Don Marrero would stop in. There was guys that would stop in. But then it was mostly us younger guys. Holtzman was a big part back then. I can't imagine Holtzman as a young guy. I mean me and him, we're only a few years different. It feels like he's just looked like that since he was a kid. He was a throwback. He looked like he was from the 1950s when I met him in 94. Yeah.

[1:56:43] here. [1:56:44] Right. Always the best. Always a nice guy. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's the sweetest guy in the world. There's something about guys who are like that on stage are always super sweet off stage. Because they truly get all the venom out. It's like William Montgomery. If you watch William Montgomery on stage, he's a raving lunatic. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that picture. Oh, wow. Look at Holtzman to the right with a suit on. Oh, my God. And the Pauly. Who's next to you? Look at that. Freddie Soto. That's Freddie Soto. Damn. Yeah. [1:57:11] Boy, that was probably like 96... [1:57:16] Wow. Crazy. Yeah, Brian does look the exact same. He had jet black hair and he was – you know what he kind of looks like? That's his headshot. There's this guy on Instagram where his whole thing is just he pretends to be a greaser. [1:57:35] Oh, really? Yeah, but, like, unironically. And that's kind of what he looks like. But it's really funny because all his comments are just like, yo, show us that hog. Like, that's become the – he does, like, greaser shit. And then all the comments are like, but how come – where's the hog reveal? [1:57:52] Why is the hog? Yeah, it's become, like – [1:57:54] He's so unironically trying to be a greaser that the comments came up with their own sort of culture around him. So it's comedy accidentally. Yeah, the kind of mock. They're all kind of making fun of him. But he's genuinely trying to portray this guy as this greaser guy. [1:58:09] It's like Mike the Greaser or something like that. It's so funny. Well, Holtzman was just – I thought he was going to blow up, man. I really did. I was like, oh, this guy is going to be fucking huge.

[1:58:18] This guy's going to be gigantic. [1:58:21] There was a few guys back then that I was like, that guy's going to be big. [1:58:25] Do you ever see Mike Ricca? [1:58:27] No. The early 90s, Mike Rico was great, man. I don't know what happened. [1:58:32] I don't know what happened with him. I don't even know if he does comedy anymore. Yeah, it's so easy. People fall off all the time. Because it is brutal. The game is brutal. It can be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but you have to have something brutal outside of the game to keep you centered. [1:58:48] You should do something else that's also difficult. For me, it's obviously working out. That's a big part of what keeps me sane. I think it's important for mental health. The people that are the most mentally unhealthy and unstable that I know all have no control of their body. None of them exercise. They don't eat well. They eat terrible food. They take medications, and they're all fucked up in the head. And then little things can send them off a deep end. Once a person makes a mean tweet about them and a couple people pile on, they want to jump off a building. [1:59:18] Right. You know, there's a bunch of those people out there. And I think like with the pressures of this job, you have to for your own sanity, you have to find some sort of an outlet, some sort of a thing or like take a walk. That too. Yeah. It's so it'll help. But it should be something that's a little bit that you exert yourself. Well, that's like I was like, that's a good place to start if you're one of these people that like don't like. Yeah. Just a simple walk can really get the ball rolling. Don't jump right into CrossFit. Yeah. [1:59:48] couch to CrossFit. Yeah, just be outside and smell the air. Does your phone send you the screen time updates?

[1:59:55] What do you mean? So my phone will send me a weekly, this is how much you spend on your phone. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. For me, it's like, damn, this is like a full-time job that I'm spending on my phone. It's a lot. It's disgusting. And I have to just remind myself, oh, the reason I feel bad is because I'm on this. [2:00:10] 100%. I'm on this and I'm consuming a fake reality... [2:00:15] I think one of the most dangerous things that the online existence does is it calls – people call their fans and stuff a community, and it's not really a community. Your community has to be people you see in person. It can't be this online – [2:00:31] possibly fake... [2:00:33] fan club basically well it can't certainly can't be a large percentage of your interactions with people that's nuts but i mean there is some sort of a community that you kind of cultivate by interacting with people on social media it's just at what price right you know and at what price and then how much are you doom scrolling other than interacting with people and having like semi positive experiences communicating with like sharing ideas how much of it is just doom scrolling [2:01:03] heavy. So I still spend a lot of time on YouTube, though. My distraction time is almost all YouTube. No, I'm a doom scroller. Yeah, because you get caught. You see one thing and you're like, it's so easy to just do that. It is. But I don't want that because it makes me feel weird. But YouTube doesn't make me feel weird. So if I watch some really cool video on ancient history or something, I never feel bad at all. I'm like, oh, that was cool. I don't come out of it with

[2:01:33] be like oh that's interesting i learned something youtube is like the modern television oh it's phenomenal that's the one phenomenal you can just find some there's people making high quality things sometimes i'll get caught up in things that i don't even care about yeah like the uh i don't i'm not like a huge horror movie fan i like movies but but i found this one one page called nightmare movies and he just explains his favorite horror movies and he has a great voice and i've watched like all of his videos zero interest in watching any of the movies i'm interested in watching him [2:02:03] Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's really dope on YouTube also is these little short horror movies that people make on their own. Like, real super low budget, but, like, really interesting ideas. There's a ton of them, man. Right. Some of them are fucking great. They're really cool. They're, like, eight minutes long. They're two minutes long, and they can just get you. Yeah. There's so much entertainment. I like watching people make furniture for some reason. I really do. Yeah. I love watching people make, like, live-edge tables and shit. [2:02:33] Yeah, it's just like, oh, this tickles me. I like watching people cook. I watch a lot of cooking. Well, it's so like you can... [2:02:41] Everyone's entertainment is so in their own lane That you can come across a video and be like 8 million views And you've never even seen it True virality is tough [2:02:49] In the future, are there going to be even A-list celebrities like that? [2:02:55] You know, like or like it's going to be there's going to be less and less like a like what would you describe as like an A-list celebrity? Right. Everyone has their own sort of lane. Well, there's more celebrities now than there ever have been before. For sure. There's more. Let's just say famous people. Right. There's more people that are known than ever before because of social media. You think about all the streamers and YouTubers and podcast streaming scene. Yeah. Yeah. It's insane. So there's that. So that muddies the water because you go back to like let's go back to like 1910.

[2:03:25] 1960 when Paul Newman was a superstar making movies. How many fucking Paul Newman's were there? [2:03:30] Right, yeah. [2:03:31] Was it 10? Yeah. On Earth? Right. If you wanted to make a big movie, you got Marlon Brando, Paul Newman. You have a few people. Like a star on Sidney Sweeney's level now. [2:03:42] Right. Back then, that would be a name to sell movies. Mm-hmm. Now, like, there's movies that she's in that people don't watch. Right. [2:03:48] And that's like what an A-list celebrity is now. It's like there's so much stuff you're competing with. There's so much content. Just period. I'm always watching a new show. There's always a new show. And they're fucking great. A safer Ontario means more police and prosecutors making sure my card doesn't get stolen. It means building new jails to keep criminals behind bars. And it means there's no need to worry when I play at the park. We're making every corner of Ontario safer to make all of Ontario safer. [2:04:18] That's how we protect Ontario. For all of us. Learn how at Ontario.ca/SaferOntario. Paid for by the Government of Ontario. [2:04:32] Great. There's so many great shows. Yeah, or not even just random Instagram accounts. I do not watch this guy sandwiches of history. All he does is he finds a sandwich book from like some of them from like the early 1900s and just makes a sandwich in them. Is any of them good? Some of them are amazing and some of them suck ass. Some of them are like some of them are like a depression era. You know what I mean? It's like bread and sawdust.

[2:04:56] But some of them are some of them are like, damn, that's like a good sandwich. I just watch this guy eat sandwiches and be like, this is [2:05:01] This is a great use of my time. Making an orange peel sandwich from 1921 here. 1921. So you take orange peels, you mix it up with mayonnaise, and you spread it on bread. [2:05:12] Uh. [2:05:13] Let's see his face. [2:05:15] He always goes... [2:05:17] I'll give this sandwich a go. He has like a catchphrase. I'm all about it. [2:05:22] Hmm. [2:05:23] Okay. It doesn't look like he likes it. It's a terrible idea. That's a terrible idea. Orange peel sandwich, get the fuck out of here. Well, that's what people ate. Yeah, you're starving. You're starving, you eat an orange peel sandwich. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The sandwich was made by a guy who was in a hurry, right? Wasn't that the idea? He just threw some fucking meat in some bread to eat it all together? Yeah, I think so. [2:05:42] And then the people were like, wow. Wasn't his name Sandwich or something? He was like the Earl of Sandwich. I think it was Sandwich was a place. Something like that? Yeah. Yeah. [2:05:48] As I'm saying that, is that real though? Is that just like goofy? We've definitely searched this before. Isn't there an Earl of Sandwich? Is that like a... No, there 100% is, but it's also like a store and I'm just like, is that even maybe just like a silly myth? I'll tell you what, if the sandwich didn't originate with the Earl of Sandwich, what a mighty coincidence that is. [2:06:09] What a real deal. If there is an Earl of Sandwich, what is the origins of the term sandwich? [2:06:15] I'm stuck looking at the Earl of Sandwich. Okay, so the Earl of Sandwich exists. But just put into perplexity, what are the origins of the sandwich? [2:06:24] I'm pretty sure it was like a military guy and he was like fuck it just give me the bread and the meat I'll put it together and cut the bread open stuff it in there because I think they used to just eat bread and eat meat they just ate bread by itself they were too stupid to combine them yeah very autistically keep the food separate

[2:06:41] 18th century England, named after John Montagu. The fourth Oral of Sandwich. Aha. Someone is the Oral of Sandwich. During a prolonged card game in 1762. Oh, that's right. He was gambling. That's right. Now I remember. Oh, well, now that gambling is so fucking massive now, what cool food is going to come out of that? [2:07:03] That's hard to hear. All the fast food, Uber Eats will deliver it right to your table. Allowing him to eat without interrupting play, the practice creation popularized the handheld meal. [2:07:13] Among England's elite. There it is. Oh, that's so funny. It used to be an elite food. [2:07:18] Oh, so it looks like the Romans had it before. [2:07:22] It says similar concepts predated Montague, such as the Roman Ophela, which involved meat or cheese between bread slices. That's a sandwich. Right. They just didn't call it that. [2:07:35] Hmm, huh. [2:07:37] They finally had a name that stuck. [2:07:40] Is there a current Earl of Sandwich? [2:07:43] I bet there is. Yeah. Imagine – [2:07:45] If he's gluten sensitive. That's what I was digging through was this, but I didn't get any good information from it. Well, now we know. [2:07:55] You want to talk about places to eat? Austin has an amazing fucking selection of places to eat. During the day, the night leaves a little... [2:08:03] There needs to be a late night diner. Well, we were talking about that last night. One of the things I really miss about LA is the Jewish delis, like Cantor's. Yes. We used to go there after the club. We'd leave and we'd go to Cantor's and I would get a pastrami Reuben with steak fries. Oh my God. Have you ever had a pastrami Reuben from Cantor's? Yeah. Good Lord. That's what you get at Cantor's. Good Lord. That's good. Yeah. I mean, it might be the best pastrami Reuben on earth. It's right up there with Cat's Deli in New York City, which is maybe the king.

[2:08:34] Oh, Lord. Cats Deli in New York City is fucking legendary. First of all, you get a ticket when you get there. I don't even know if they accept credit cards. You might have to pay in cash. Oh, I like that. You get a ticket when you get there, and you can't lose your ticket. If you lose your ticket, you've got to pay like $50 because you take that ticket, and on that ticket, they write all the things you get. So you go up to the counter, and they're like, we're going to get you. And there's guys that have been fucking chopping meat since the 20s. [2:09:03] of pieces of pastrami and you get to eat it while you're there while you're waiting for your sandwich to be made and you know you tell him what you want and he pulls the fucking pastrami out starts slicing it up in front of you steams coming off of it he's piling it on that rye bread you're like you can't wait and then he gives you a couple pickles in there and then you're like what else you want and then you move down the line like i get an order of fries get an order of fries i want a root beer and then you get to the end and they put it all on your ticket and then when you leave [2:09:33] counter ah ah okay yeah that's how it works accountability he have to a little bit yeah he has to keep track of stuff it's a weird old system so nobody pays attention so everyone loses their fucking ticket if you're from out of town if you've never been there before you're like what the ticket what what happened how much is it it's a way to it's a way to scam the tourists a little bit i don't think it's like a tourist fee not a scam well i just think it's how they used to account back then they just never changed it it's kind of the charm of the place right this weird [2:10:03] his son.

[2:10:04] Yeah, when I was a door guy, we were big swingers guys. [2:10:09] That was the... Oh, Cats. Show me Cats. Cats is... Yeah. That was the diner we went to. Swingers is great. That was a great diner. Yeah. That was a great diner. Really good food. And that was open pretty late, too. Look at that, son. Are you fucking kidding me? Look at that pastrami with Swiss cheese. Oh, Lord. That's so good. And they piled it up high, and they've been doing it that way since the fucking 1800s. [2:10:34] How old is Cantor's? [2:10:36] 1888? Jeez. 1888. Look how good that looks. Oh! [2:10:43] You can see how she's pulling it like that. The flavors. Yeah, see, this is what Austin is definitely missing. Yeah. They need something late night. Something that we can all need where you can go and hang out and like... [2:10:54] Now, I had heard that someone was opening a cat's deli in Austin. [2:10:59] Right? But I don't think it's Cats, Cats Deli from New York City. No, it's just called Cats Deli. Cats never closes? [2:11:06] Oh, coming soon. Hold on. Go back. [2:11:10] Coming soon on 6th Street. [2:11:12] How far is that from us? Well, we're on 6th. It's on West 6th. It's on West 6th. So it's like near. He's taking over our current spot. [2:11:19] What's that? It's taking over a bar there or something. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's kind of near where Jay Carver's is. Opening in the same location as the OG Cats is operated for [redacted address] down by Jay Carver's. [2:11:31] Yeah, but this – But that's a five-minute drive. Yeah, you can walk there. We do that all the time. Cats never closes. But that was August 18th. Has there been any news since –

[2:11:40] Is it open? Yeah. No, no, no. It's going to take a year. [2:11:43] Oh, they're building it out? Yeah. Whoa. There's a few places like that that got the name out, and it's going to be open in a year and a half. So was there an original Katz's Never Closes, or is this a new? That's the one. That's where it was. It closed in 2011. [2:11:58] So they lied. [2:11:59] No, what do you mean? Fucking closed. [2:12:03] Yeah, cats sometimes closes for [redacted address], I would have never allowed them to use a K for closes. Like, guys, we're not kooky. Stop. Yeah, you're not Krispy Kreme. Yeah, why are you doing that? Right. So expected in 2026, maybe 2027. [2:12:20] Well, hopefully they – because that's the big hole right now in the Austin game. Look at it though. This is it. [2:12:25] New York-style deli menu with sandwiches like Rubens, day-long breakfast dishes like waffle egg sandwiches and blintzes, entrees including pork roasts and meatloaves. Oh, my God, it sounds amazing. Open 24-7. [2:12:39] All right. That'll be it for us. That'll be it. Finally. Finally. Because that was the big hole. Outside of that, Austin has amazing food. We should help them. But yeah, after 10 p.m., it gets rough pickings around here. Yeah, let's blow them up when they open up. A lot of halal carts, which I wouldn't expect in Austin. That's such a funny. Going through there, I wouldn't be like, oh, halal carts would be a good way I get late night food. Entrepreneurs. Yeah. Just recognize the need. Yeah. There's the only things you can get. Oh, there's Golden Tiger. That's great. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. [2:13:09] Right. They're open till like 130.

[2:13:12] Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty late. That's pretty good. The comic life, you're like out at two. I know. Yeah. Looking for food at two. Yeah, at two. And you're like, well, thank God the Mexican hot dog carts people are here. Right. Yeah, that happened recently. They started showing up. Yeah, there's always smart people to capitalize. Because there's always, I mean, there's just so many people walking around drunk. Right, just looking for stuff. Especially 6th Street. You got a taco truck, you can kill it. Oh, yeah. On 6th Street? Oh, at 2 in the morning, all the fucking zombies. [2:13:42] You're headed towards Creek. There's a whole parking lot that's got a bunch of food trucks up in there. There's a place, my favorite place is called Diddy Dog. They got bulgogi fries. [2:13:54] Bulgogi fries. Bulgogi fries. Isn't there a really good cheeseburger place over there too? [2:13:59] Oh, yeah. This is the Yala Burgers. They're pretty good. But for me, downtown, if I'm eating downtown, I'm eating the bulgogi fries. That good, huh? Oh, yeah. There are a lot, so I can't get them very often. Now that I'm older, I'm like, oh, yeah, I have to take care of myself. But when I first moved here, I was on that bulgogi fry diet, son. It's kind of insane how many great restaurants there are here, though. It's like... [2:14:21] Oh, yeah. The number's nuts. Yeah, and good casual eating places, too. It's like you can really – everyone who moves – I call it – when you move to Austin, there's the freshman 15th. [2:14:31] Just from eating here? Just from eating here. You just get it. And then after you live here for like five years, I think you just get so tired of brisket that you can't look at it again for a while. I eat so much brisket that I only go now when out of town people.

[2:14:47] That's funny. I could eat it 24 days out of a month. I'll take six off. Oh, no. I love it. Yeah. Sometimes the Terry Blacks will come to the Green Room, and I'll be like, I can't look at this right now. Oh, no. This is like day three in a row of Terry Blacks. Not to complain, but it is funny. Terry Blacks has those beef ribs, dog. That's their best. Those beef ribs are insane. I do describe it. You've got to take every tour. It's like the Disneyland of Austin. Yeah. Yeah, it's a line that moves quickly. You can see how everything's made. And it's a fucking huge place. [2:15:17] Highest volume restaurant in the country. Really? Yeah. I think in terms of like brisket and barbecue and stuff, I think they were telling me that. [2:15:25] I forget what the exact statistic they told me, but it was like the volume of food that they serve there is like as high as anywhere in the country. That makes sense. It's always – there's always a line there. Giant line. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they always move quickly, so they're always getting people like in and out. Well, you can only eat so much. Like when you sit down and eat barbecue, you ain't sitting there for three hours, bitch. No. No. And you also always get more than you can eat. [2:15:48] Yeah, you always like – yeah, because it looks so good up there. And then like the second you have like their cornbread, you're so full. What the fuck is that? Especially those beef ribs, man. They're so rich. [2:15:57] You can only eat, like, so much of it before you're like, oh. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not before a show. That's always a mistake that people make. Bro, last time we had a whole group of us, I made the mistake of sitting next to Metzger, and I was in the corner. I was fucking looming over me with conspiracy theories. I'm like, Kurt, you got to stop. Try to enjoy these ribs. You got to stop. I don't know if it's just the Terry Blacks in Austin because I know they have one in Dallas, I think, too.

[2:16:27] them 18 percent of america that's so much brisket that's crazy metzger's a fun one in the green room he said my favorite is when he'll be like what i thought this was common knowledge you don't know yeah you don't know there was there was something he said in the green room the other day about like morgan freeman [2:16:46] Some deep conspiracy about Morgan Freeman, and we're like, what the fuck are you talking about? I thought this was common knowledge. It's like, no, no one knows anything about what you're talking about. Is it the Morgan Freeman dated his granddaughter or some shit like that? Yeah, step-granddaughter. Step-granddaughter. Yeah, dated her, and then the boyfriend went crazy and killed her. And he was like, I thought that was common knowledge. It's like, what do you mean? Is that true? The boyfriend went crazy and killed her? That's what he said. I looked at it afterwards, and I was like, I don't know where. [2:17:16] Plugged in straight from the Matrix, I think. I don't even know where he finds his stuff. Well, he's on that Jimmy Dore show. [2:17:22] You know, and Jimmy Dore show the entire show is about exposing corruption and conspiracies and it's a lot. Yeah, you live in that world all the time and everything becomes a conspiracy and everything doesn't leave a lot of room for sunshine. Also, here's the thing. There's enough conspiracy. We talked about the Franklin scandal. There's enough conspiracies that are absolutely real and provable that if you go into it, you will kind of go crazy. Right. I mean, this is what kind of happened to Alex Jones is what happens to a lot of people that get involved in conspiracies. Right. [2:17:50] It's like you find out how many of them are true and you start losing your fucking mind. You're like, what is real? Like what really controls the world? Like what fucking lizard people are really at the center of this whole thing? Right. Yeah. This is kind of better to just stay away at a certain point. Just be like, yeah. We should probably pay attention a little bit, but –

[2:18:09] But some people must have an obligation to do it because if it doesn't get exposed, then it's going to continue. And the only way that you can kind of put a stop to this stuff is people have to get busted and they have to be held accountable. The public has to get outraged. So someone has to be making these videos. But it doesn't have to be you. Right. It doesn't have to be you. Yeah. For your own personal mental health, it's just not good to absorb all of the evil of the world. Yeah. There's no reason to take that on. [2:18:36] There's no reason. Just find happiness in your lane. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like that's pretty easy to do. Yeah. I feel like that's pretty easy to do. Yeah. A lot of it, just be happy with where you are and work from there. Yeah. But it's just like some people feel obligated to be a part of something. And then you find – the thing about like with Metzger is like he wasn't always like this. I was friends with him long before he started working with Jimmy. And he was – [2:19:04] Fun and crazy, always like the same kind of guy. But now it's like the obsession is all on deep corruption and conspiracies. It's like, yo. But he's right. He's right about a lot of it. Right. Which is nuts. And he maintains a lot of it in his fucking brain, just bouncing around in there like – [2:19:24] But yeah, but I mean, it's yeah, it just takes over man. I do think, uh, [2:19:29] White Precious, his Comedy Central special, that's low-key, one of the most underrated specials of all time. That special is great. He's very funny. That special is great. He's very good. His writing is very good. He's just very smart. He's a great podcast guest, too. Basically, just got to kind of corral him a little bit. Right. You know, because he'll go from one subject to the next subject to the next all in like one rant. You're like, okay, go, go, go, go. Go back to that first one. Queen Elizabeth did what? Yeah. You know? Yeah. Yeah.

[2:19:58] He's just... [2:19:59] Well, we have a lot of them. I mean, he's another one that lives in Austin now. We have a lot of them. [2:20:02] It's pretty cool. [2:20:03] Yeah, it's so fun watching all these young kids, dude, rise up and just find themselves. [2:20:12] It's so like, I mentioned Fuzzy earlier, but just watching him on stage, like, he does it. It's so, it's great watching him just like. [2:20:19] Figure out to not give a fuck. [2:20:21] And then see what comes from that. Yeah. Like, right now he's doing these things at the end when he closes out, like, Fat Man. He'll also do a Q&A, but he's not famous. So the questions are so much funnier. And, like, the answers are so much wilder because he's just some guy that they all just met. That's hilarious. Yeah, so it's a very fun dynamic to watch his Q&As. Because the whole audience is like, wait, we're doing a Q&A? Why? We had no questions coming in. That's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first time I ever saw anybody do a Q&A was Seinfeld. [2:20:50] Really? Yeah, he did a whole set. He did like 45 minutes and then it was at the Paradise in Boston. The Paradise was a small club. It was a rock and roll club that was connected to Stitches and Stitches was the comedy club. So for the comedy club, like if you're a regular comedian, I think Stitches probably seated maybe 150 people. It was like a little bit bigger than Little Boy. And, um, [2:21:14] So if you were a regular comic, like a road headliner, you would do Stitches. And then if you're a big guy like Jerry Seinfeld who had been on television, you'd do The Paradise. Okay. So I was with a date. [2:21:24] I think I was maybe 20, and I went to see Jerry Seinfeld before I ever did stand-up. And he did stand-up, and then he came back out, and he answered questions. And he would just riff with the audience. And it was fucking great. It was really cool. He just started riffing about stuff. And I guess that's like how he was creating material and coming up with new premises. Yeah. Do you get bits when you do that? Sometimes. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's...

[2:21:47] It's not an exact science. We'll have a whole fun Q&A session for 20 minutes and there's no bits. Right. And I'll do it five times, six times, and then one time, bam, I got one. And then you just got to grab that sucker and reel it into the shore. Yeah, and just work on it. Yeah, and then figure it out. But bottom of the barrel is the best. Bottom of the barrel is the best premise factory ever. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I feel like because there's certain people who do it. [2:22:17] doing a special would you ever consider doing a bottom of the barrel type special no because i'd say too much wild shit that i wouldn't want to get published that's a very fair point that's a very the most insane shit i've ever said has been on bottom of the barrel [2:22:28] And just like, I'm so glad there's a place where I can get this thought out. Because they'll look at you. [2:22:33] Like, yo, what the fuck? And you're like, hey, this wasn't my idea. You fucking wrote this down. Yeah, they get mad at you. I remember one time I got bestiality. [2:22:45] And it reminded me of a story. So the way we consumed porn as kids, because you guys had like magazines you'd find in the woods. You have a bit about that. Yeah, that was not so weird that there was these. This is like pre-Pornhub. So these pre-Youtubes of porn, as I call them. But there are these like dedicated sites. They'd be like one of them was like Mr. Chu's Asian Beaver. I think you can tell what that's about. [2:23:07] That one was great. [2:23:09] Probably run by a Jewish guy. Yeah, for sure. Definitely not a Mr. Chu. There was at the very end, there was this very racist cartoon beaver. [2:23:15] Thank you. [2:23:16] And he would have like the buck teeth and the rice hat. And then he would rate every girl out of five fortune cookies at the end of each video. That was the whole premise of the site.

[2:23:28] That's what we were coming up with in porn. And then one day – and we'd watch that together in like seventh grade. Like that's the R huddling around the magazine. And then one day we invited the weird guy and he had found one where people fuck animals. [2:23:41] Yeah, it was like wild. And there's been very famous videos. I think there's one called like Mr. Hands or something like that. Yeah, yeah, there's very famous like those originated out of those sites. [2:23:50] And so he was showing us that. And then what I said on stage is, [2:23:54] It gave me the life experience to know that sometimes when you – [2:23:58] Sometimes when you watch people fuck a dog... [2:24:01] sometimes a dog enjoys it and they all looked at me like i was horrified which is a kind of horrifying thing to say but i was also like well you brought it up yeah i wasn't gonna tell the story unless you asked me some dogs must like it there's probably a girl girl dog out there that likes some dick oh i mean there's probably a guy there's probably a guy dog out there that's giving some dick right now for sure oh yeah to some yeah i've seen crazy ladies i've seen videos when i was a kid there was like this uh video that a friend of mine had and i remember one of us had to wash [2:24:31] Yeah, because there's a door down into the basement. So one of us had to stand up at the door, and the rest of us were huddled in front of this fucking 12-inch television with a VCR attached to it. [2:24:42] Damn. And you put the VHS tape in there. We're watching like a copy of a copy of a copy of Barnyard Betty. And Barnyard Betty was this... [2:24:50] They took some crazy crackhead and they gave her money to suck a dog's dick and get fucked by a German shepherd. It's a weird watch, man. Yeah. You come across some weird shit out there. Dog just pumped nut into this fucking poor, drunken, sad, alcoholic, drug addict lady. Jesus. Sad. Yeah. Sad. Yeah. But that's, yeah, that's how we fucked. Well, porn's fucked.

[2:25:20] It's crazy how it's just moved towards... [2:25:22] I guess it's more empowering, I guess, when it's about individual creators. Right, like OnlyFans? Yeah. Do you know the numbers? You ever seen the numbers? Oh, I saw the one lady that makes more than LeBron. Yeah, that, but I mean the number of actual girls that are on OnlyFans. Oh, it must be depressing. Crazy. Yeah, and it must be depressing how many people are selling themselves to, like, nobody. [2:25:43] Exactly. That's the thing. The vast majority aren't making any money. Right. And then their pussy's out there forever. Just forever. Yeah. They're getting fucked by a dildo in front of the whole world. And the guy saves it on his hard drive forever and ever and ever and ever. Right. And you were 19 and you just didn't want to work. But I think the number between girls of 18 to – I forget what the age is, something in their 20s, it's like 10%. [2:26:05] Thank you. [2:26:06] That's crazy. That's wild. But it's content creation. It's like that's a genuine market that people are going for. That's the way to do it. It's also pornography. It is pornography. But I mean, content creation is TikTok, Instagram. Right. You know what I mean? Like that's content creation. I think they view it in the same vein. Wow. Like it depends on what you do. Right. I know that top lady. And this is something. Sophie Rain. Sophie Rain. And this is something that's just interesting across all Gen Z is that her thing is that she's a virgin. Right. [2:26:34] Right. And that's how she sells, which is like, yeah, which, you know, take it for what it is. But like her and that the Nick Shirley guy, virgin, Nick Fuentes, virgin, it's like that's like a thing that you can sell to Gen Z is virginity. Yeah. You were talking to me about this in the green room that like this incel problem is unrecognized. There's a giant percentage of people that are like voluntarily celibate in this country. Yes, I think so. And it's like a lot of it is maybe this sort of new religious, this sort of religious fervor that sort of developed.

[2:27:04] Yeah, but aren't they horny? I don't get it. [2:27:21] Yeah, they don't go out. They don't go out like alcohol consumption from Gen Z to millennials is like they drink 800 percent less. Some crazy shit like that. Third spaces, you know the concept of a third space? No. Okay, so you have work and home. That's space one, space two. And a third space is like, you know, when I was visiting college, we'd go to the bowling alley every day for one summer. It was stuff like that. It's a place that you can all go. The library, the mall, places to exist outside of the two spaces. Those places are completely disappearing. [2:27:51] People are staying inside all the time or – [2:27:54] They've become too expensive. Like movies now are like very expensive. So it's like kind of priced out of being a third space on top of all the things that are going on with movies. So those are also disappearing. So places where you can meet someone. [2:28:07] in person are gone. [2:28:09] So they're not meeting in person. A lot of it is app-driven and – and then you've got to wonder about like sex drive drop-off because – Well, you can access porn. [2:28:22] Like instantly now. Right. So you can at least play that part of your brain, give it something. Right. Give it a rush of some kind that it would kind of maybe get from like a lesser version of sex but still fill that void. Right. But there's also testosterone levels have dropped. Like –

[2:28:41] Fertility levels amongst women have dropped. Yeah. Miscarriages have risen. The West – the West – the fertility rates in the West are like massively concerning – [2:28:52] Like it's – people like worry about bringing in migrants, but at the same time, they're the only ones having kids at replacement level. Like the West isn't having that. I had my 15-year high school reunion recently, and I was in town. I was like, I'll go to this. And I was like, damn, I'll probably be the only one who's like not married and doesn't have kids, and most of the people – [2:29:12] Weren't married or didn't have kids. How old are you now? 33. Wow. Yeah. Most. Most of the people there just – I would say, yeah, didn't have kids, which is wild. 33 at any other generation, this is a late time to not have a kid. Yeah. This is pretty – for people who grew up middle-class millennial, I would say this is pretty standard. [2:29:33] To not have a kid. And there's certain, I think, driving factors, too. The fact that a house is... [2:29:39] unbuyable for a lot of people my age and a younger that like because you're sold the dream on a house and two kids well if you can't get the house like it it sucks to be renting with kids right you know the instability average home buyer age is increasing while the median age for all u.s home buyers reaching 59 yeah oh that's pretty late yeah record 2025 40 median age for first time buyers hit a record high of 40 yeah so it's like that's how much that's how long you have to [2:30:09] It's hard to raise a kid without a house, you know?

[2:30:12] That's crazy. And the American – I think the American community in that way is dying because, like, you know, it takes a village to raise a child. So you raise a house – you raise a child in a house you bought. Your neighbors generally stay the same. There's a certain level of comfort and, like, you know, oh, my mom can do this thing for me. I can go to my neighbor's house. And you know what I mean? There's safety in that. But if everyone around you is a renter, then your community kind of – [2:30:33] disappears. There's no set community. That's a really good point. And it's like... [2:30:40] Bringing up – kids need consistency. So bringing up in a world that's constantly shifting, it's probably anxiety-inducing to people who can't afford homes. [2:30:51] For sure. Definitely on that. And then childcare is expensive. Then if also your friends aren't doing it, you know? And then women are waiting later and later because they want to prolong their careers. Right. [2:31:02] And then it becomes harder, and then you get into in vitro fertilization. Yeah, there's definitely some – with this wave of feminism and capitalism, there's definitely some like – [2:31:12] insidious ties there. [2:31:14] Of just like... [2:31:15] You can – oh, like work. [2:31:19] create capital for us and then make it make it so it's impossible or very hard for one working house spouse to like just if the man is working to raise a kid do you think it's on purpose [2:31:30] I think – [2:31:31] Maybe it wouldn't start on purpose, but I think it sort of became intertwined. [2:31:37] Well, isn't it just a... [2:31:39] just a side effect of if women want to pursue careers, you're going to have less children.

[2:31:46] So that is for sure, but there's a thing about it. There's this like almost demonization of the women who choose to stay at home. Like, you know, it's like, oh, a trad wife. It's looked down on. But isn't that just because of the women that are pursuing careers that give them that look down on? Yeah, that's true. And it's probably because they secretly feel like maybe they're missing out. Maybe. To me, it's like – it's so funny that both can exist. It can be the women that go for their careers and the women that want to stay home. [2:32:16] I think is just very interesting. Yeah, it is weird, but it's also like population drop is a real thing. It does look like the humanity. Have you ever seen that population curve of the deer? [2:32:26] Mm-hmm. [2:32:27] Yeah, it's like – so I think humanity is kind of at that point where it levels off. [2:32:32] Hmm. Yeah, because I remember my bio class today, which that would be the population, like the exponential growth and then the level off. [2:32:38] And we've had the exponential growth. [2:32:41] And we're looking like that part of the graph. Well, the thing is like there is still exponential growth. It's just not in the West. That's what's kind of weird. Right, right. It's poor people. Right. [2:32:49] Poor people want to have a bunch of kids, and they're having them all the time. Right. And then they want to come over here. [2:32:54] Yeah Take over Minnesota And then have their kids in daycare That doesn't exist Right But yeah There is something happening in the West Or like The way that Like the South Korea and Japan Oh they're fucked They're like fucked They're like actually fucked They're like a couple generations away from like How are you going to support this whole thing Right Unless you let people in [2:33:15] Well, or you encourage people to have kids.

[2:33:18] If you turn it around with the youngest people and then you have like a blip for a while, but then it gets back to it. But, man, you have to like make a concerted effort. And how do you encourage people to have children? Because you're going to have to have women that don't pursue careers. Right. Right. If you have five kids, like what are you going to do? You're working all day. Right. That's kind of crazy. When you have kids, you realize how nuts that is because it's like, man, your kids, they want their parents. [2:33:48] and weirdos and things that can happen at daycare. [2:33:52] Right. Yeah. [2:33:53] Yeah, no, it's – I don't know how they would incentivize that to happen. How do you? Yeah, you can't really. Yeah, because people are selfish. They want what they want in their life. And when Elon is like, oh, we're experiencing population collapse. They're like, so not me. Bye. Right. I'm going to the movies with my friends. You know what I mean? Like the idea of changing diapers. Like I don't want – I don't like her that much. Stick around with her for the next 18 years. Yeah, you also – when you have – [2:34:21] the ability to choose everyone at your fingertips it's like netflix when you can watch everything you watch nothing so we can choose everyone you can't you don't commit to anything right yeah it's just because everything's these sort of superfluous like kind of deep relationships i know a lot of people that have used the apps and then found someone and got off the apps so there are people but generally they're a little older right yes they're they're like at a certain age you sort of [2:34:47] look for that. But like in your early 20s, when people were like settling down in their 20s beforehand, it made sense. They were the only person around maybe like but now you're in a city, you can just it can be like in a big one in New York where there's like an endless stream of people. There's no reason to make a choice if you

[2:35:04] Don't want to. I saw a video of a lady who created an app where a man is allowed to pay for her preparation for the date. [2:35:14] So the man sends her money and, [2:35:17] So she can get her nails done, get clothes for the date, all these different things for the date. [2:35:23] And this lady set up this app. [2:35:25] Damn. I'm like – [2:35:26] It's kind of prostitution. I mean, it's sure. You know? Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's kind of without the guarantee of sex. I know. It's weird. You're not just showing up. These are my clothes. I drove here in my car. I'm meeting a person. No, it's that person is paying me to prepare for our date. Right. And creating me into a person in his head. It's kind of dark. Well, you're going to get a very different kind of person that's going to meet you. You're going to get a kind of person that's willing to give you money immediately before he has any connection with you at all. [2:35:56] He might meet you and you're fucking super annoying. He's like, God damn it, I gave that bitch $100. That's so funny. That's Richard – I think it was Richard Feynman. He was talking about getting girls because he was good at it and he was like, yeah, I never paid for the drink on the first date. [2:36:11] Wow. Never. Something like that. That seems kind of crazy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not going to get a lot of quality women. Ah, well. Maybe it was back then. It was different. Yeah. Yeah. [2:36:18] And you're kind of famous in your world. [2:36:21] Yeah, he's a famous, brilliant guy. The scientists back then were all like rock stars. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all like just fucking everyone around them. Isn't that nuts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was normal. Just making the atomic bomb, just fucking losing their minds. That was the crazy thing about the Oppenheimer thing, right? You're right. Oppenheimer was a freak.

[2:36:39] Good for him. It's just out there getting his fuck on. Yeah, fucking communist chicks. Yeah. [2:36:45] They're probably fun. Oh, yeah. That's living – especially back then, that's living dangerously. That's the same level of come as the gay Republican senator. It's like – this is banned. Right. Yeah, this is bad. How many gay Republican senators do you think there are? I mean – [2:37:01] Not zero. Yeah. For sure. In the closet, not zero. No, definitely not. It is usually the ones that are like the most pro. Like anyone who's like still very pro anti-gay marriage now, like loudly, it's like, what's going on here? Or really into war. [2:37:16] We got to get those Iraqis out of their homes. Oh, yeah. The fucking – just war hawks with Iran. Iran is going through it right now. What's going on right now? Yeah, you don't know what's happening in Iran? [2:37:31] killing the protesters. Yeah, I mean, that's what, yeah. It seems like there's some sort of a strike that might be imminent. Doesn't it? [2:37:37] It feels like it. [2:37:38] Like from the United States? Yeah. I think the U.S. is kind of going to stay back for a little bit. You think so? A week in Iran is – they're weak right now. [2:37:47] Because they're dealing with internal strife. It's kind of crazy to see how many people are on the streets. I mean, the average Iranian civilian has gotten a pretty raw deal. [2:37:58] Since... [2:37:59] The 50s, since we installed the Shah. Yeah. We installed the Shah, and then Khomeini comes and is like, hey, remember the democracy they stole from you? Because we had deposed an elected leader. Well, we'll bring it back. And they're like, okay. And then the clerics just took over and fucked them. And there's just been a constant stream of, like, the average of any citizen is just getting fucked by outside forces for so long. Well, it's all about the nationalization of their oil. Yep. They wanted to nationalize their oil. And we were like, no. Nah, player.

[2:38:29] Yeah, fuck that. Fuck that. You think you're going to have control over your own state? Get out of here. Did you – you heard Metzger's theory about Venezuela last night? No. He's like – he goes, I think, I think Maduro is secretly working for the CIA. He helped them arrest him, and then he is going to testify that the 2020 elections were rigged. [2:38:51] Wow, if that comes true, what a Babe Ruth call. What a point to the sky that is. That's crazy. If that comes true, I'm buying you a car. I'm going to go find a car you really like. We're going to get you a car. Yeah, that's crazy. If you need an American muscle car, I'll get you a Mustang GT or something. But what was it? When the Iranians protest, it's like admirable because you know they're going to die. A lot of them have already died. They killed thousands of them. A lot of them died. And the same with the hijab protests where just women were disappearing for not wearing any hijab. It's like, damn, bro. [2:39:21] They really like – they've gotten a raw deal historically for the last half a century and they're still fighting. [2:39:28] Yeah, crazy Yeah, I read When I was a kid I read this book Called Persepolis It's in my like Greatest books of all time But it's I read Persepolis And I was like [2:39:38] maybe in high school, early, late middle school. And I just realized like, oh man, because you get – [2:39:43] Especially at that time we're in fighting in the Middle East. You get bombarded with propaganda of like what these people like over there and I'm reading Persepolis. I'm like, oh, right. They're just people. [2:39:51] Like she has a scene where she's just wanting to listen to music with her friends, but the Islamic police is like – [2:39:57] We'll fucking fuck them up.

[2:39:59] If they get caught and they just have these secret parties where they're just listening to music. Secret listening to music parties that can wind you up in jail. Yeah. Just regular things. [2:40:09] What is this? Venezuela opposition leader Maria... [2:40:13] Corina Machado insists that Maduro rig the 2020 U.S. elections against Donald Trump and many other elections in the region. [2:40:21] What? How? I saw that going around too, so I don't know that Kurt's too crazy on that one. [2:40:26] What? Yeah, this isn't even the first one. This is just how I'm showing you the data. How could Maduro rig United States elections? [2:40:34] Yeah, where is that power coming from? [2:40:37] All of a sudden. Because if it was the power to rig election, do you think he would be able to stop himself from getting arrested? This is from The Gray Zone. It says, uh, Hugo El Polo... [2:40:46] Carval Carvajal is likely to serve as the star witness for the U.S. against Maduro. Max Blumenthal reveals Carvajal is a coerced witness who cut a secret plea deal to save himself. He's even indulging the Trump Trump's conspiracy theory that Venezuela rigged the 2020 U.S. election. [2:41:07] Hmm. What's the gray zone? Is that... I think that's Max Blumenthal's show. Okay, so that's like a source? Yeah. Okay, okay, okay. He's legit. Okay. Yeah. [2:41:17] uh, anti-war guy. Um, [2:41:21] So if he's saying that, maybe there's something to it. [2:41:24] Damn. [2:41:25] How would he... In what mechanism would Maduro be able to... [2:41:29] That's what I'm saying. To do an election. Okay, let's find that out. How do they think Maduro had a hand in rigging the 2020 election? What's the conspiracy? Yeah, was it like he did all the – like he helped with the mail-in votes? Right. Because that's the only way you could steal that election, right? Like, Venezuela is pretty far away.

[2:41:45] Here's a tweet from before the election even happened. [2:41:48] Nicholas Maduro's campaign manager, this is from 2024, just went on national TV to declare victory despite exit polls showing a historic loss for their socialist regime. They're setting up to... [2:42:02] commit a bigger election theft than the 2020 election in the United States. That doesn't matter. No, that's just someone's opinion. Yeah, how does that add up? That they're stealing the election in Venezuela. Yeah, because they stole it in Venezuela? But they did steal it in Venezuela. Yeah, that's for sure. [2:42:17] What does it say? I'm just looking around. It says he did clearly stole Venezuela's election, threatened bloodshed if he lost, restricted... [2:42:28] uh... [2:42:29] what is that? Intel, [2:42:31] International observers. International observers. Block transmission of results. [2:42:37] Yeah, that definitely happened. I mean, it was very telling how happy the Venezuelans in America were. [2:42:43] When he was gone. Yeah. That was a genuine thing. They were very, very pleased about that. Yeah. And then you had people – you had white leftists be like, this is bad. Yeah. You're supporting a dictator. It's like – and the way they did it was so unprecedented. Going and storm the fucking castle and steal the guy. Yeah. Kind of shows the power. Like it kind of tells also the other countries like, hey, back off. [2:43:08] Well, it's pretty crazy what they did, if it's true, with that whole sonar weapon or sound weapon, whatever it did that literally makes your organs bubble. Jesus. And everybody falls to the ground. They're writhing in pain and agony. And then they just stormed in. And everybody was incapacitated. Damn. Stormed in and fucked everybody up. And that was a wrap. Well, if that's what war is becoming, that's kind of better. It's kind of crazy. That's kind of better than ground troops and...

[2:43:34] nonstop fighting in 20 years and [2:43:37] Afghanistan. Okay, here's lawyer Sidney Powell in 2020 talking about Maduro having access to voting fraud technology. Maduro is going to sing like a canary and the Democrats are screwed. No wonder why – okay. Is that lady even real? [2:43:51] That looks like the person tweeting this. See, this reeks of bot to me. Follow me for breaking news. Yeah. [2:44:04] Why do you know? [2:44:06] Or just a guy, account clearly just making stuff up. See if you can find an account of how they did it. [2:44:13] Because there's an account by someone who is a witness that was there at the scene that said how fucking crazy it was. These guys came out of nowhere. The helicopters came out of nowhere. The drones, they shut down all the radar. Everything got shut down. And then all of a sudden there's drones flying everywhere and helicopters and these dudes, 20 guys. [2:44:33] killed you know who knows how many fucking humans right no one got killed on the american side they captured him and his wife stuffed him back in the helicopter and they were in and out in 10 minutes 10 minutes yeah there's a there's that there's a very famous video of a twitch streamer in venezuela just out in the streets and then everything goes [2:44:52] Really? Yeah. [2:44:53] Whoa. Yeah, it just goes dark. That's crazy. Damn. That's crazy. And yeah, you can, and you're a human, you can tell, like, oh, something's up. [2:45:01] This is not a normal – everything, like all the street – it went just dark. Well, it's crazy because we knew they had some really wild technology, but they didn't know – we didn't know what they were capable of until we've seen this. And we're like, oh. What's really interesting is my friend Evan Hafer was talking about that.

[2:45:17] like a year ago on the podcast, he was talking about it, maybe less than a year. He was like, if we go to war with the cartels, like they have no idea what kind of ultra violence they're in for. He's like the shit that these guys are going to do when they get when they plan this out. They had a they built a replica of his house and they went through it blindfolded. [2:45:40] Yeah, so they know exactly where every turn is, where to go. They war planned this for a long time. The live streamer thing was a false story. Oh, it was false? Which one? Of the live stream going out? Yeah. Right, but find the account of the witness. I stumbled across that on the way to it. [2:45:57] Okay. The account of the guy who said he was there, if it's accurate, is crazy because he basically said they just incapacitated everyone and then just went in and murdered everybody and pulled out Maduro. Like no one could move. You can't do anything. And then these guys land in helicopters and everyone's writhing in agony like – just running through. Damn. Whacked everybody. No one got shot back at. Crazy. [2:46:27] of what warfare is now, right? Like, oh, is Israel going to go to war with Iran? We'll just quickly just take out all their generals real quick. [2:46:36] Well, that's if you're dealing with Venezuela versus the United States of America. Right. But if it was the United States of America versus Russia or China, it would be a lot different. It's a lot more fucked up. Yeah. Venezuela doesn't have nuclear bombs. That's why you get away with shit like this. Right. Yeah, that's a fair point. That is part of the thing, you know.

[2:46:57] And then it's like the whole thing is so transparent. Trump's like immediately, we're going to take the oil. There's plenty of oil. Oh, yeah. Working on a deal. Yeah, I don't think it was a coincidence that all of a sudden I had gas under $2 last week in the gas station across the street. I was like, huh, I wonder if that's Venezuela related. Not in California. Oh, no. California gas companies are pulling out. Valero pulled out of California. It's going to cost them $1 billion. And they're like, eh. It's not worth it. Rather leave. Yeah. [2:47:28] Damn. Fuck you. Well, yeah, the cost of living there is so high, too. It's like – like when we talk about like young comics, it's like – [2:47:35] It's – what you have in Austin is like at least a way – a much cheaper quality of life. And better. And better, yeah, where you have space and like – things are more expensive than anywhere else in Texas probably for sure. But like it's still like gas was under $2. You can get – [2:47:51] You can like rent is stabilizing. It's going down. It's going to go down. I think a lot of like California, New York developers came in here and they were like Austin's where people are. So we can just build a lot. But in New York and California, you have a finite amount of space. [2:48:04] Thank you. [2:48:05] And also you can just build out – [2:48:07] And once you build out, like the rent at my place went down because people were like, oh, just buy a house out there. Right. And no one's living in the apartment complex. And like, you know, like. If you live in Dripping Springs, it's way cheaper and it's only 30 minutes away. Yeah, exactly. Everywhere in the country, 30-minute commute is normal. Right. Right. Yeah, it's normal. Here, what's nice about here is you'll see something that's 15 minutes. It'll be 15 miles. You'll be like, oh, that's normal. That's normal. I went 15 miles. Yeah, it was an hour and a half. No, it was almost two hours.

[2:48:37] to fucking burbank after a podcast at five and i was like oh i should have just killed myself that would have been a more effective use of my time locked up yeah when the 405 or the five gets locked up it's depressing oh it's hell that trip down to san diego if you want to do the la jolla store you gotta leave early you gotta leave at noon leave at noon because that means you'll be down in san diego right around the time rush hour starts yeah yeah yeah [2:49:02] Crazy. Yeah, it's just a cheaper place for a young comic who, if it's time to move to a place, it's like Austin does offer a cheaper quality for quality stage time as well. It's also just a better vibe. There's less tension. There's less people. Yes, yes. I feel like there are times where I would take a day off in L.A. [2:49:25] And I feel like I'm falling behind because everyone around you is so frantic. And here it's like, oh, I can breathe. I can actually just enjoy this day off. Which is important. You got to have some kind of balance. Yes. You want to be a little bit frantic, but then you got to achieve some balance and let your brain sort of recalibrate, come back on, just get a new perspective. Yeah. Rest is so – this grind culture. Oh, here we go. Before we get into this, though, same kind of thing. I'll check the account. Fucked up account? This is the account. [2:49:55] Main proponent for the drive to recall Gavin Newsom, California needs to rebuild, the better. So it might be a fake person. And then there's no evidence. [2:50:03] to like a link or where they got the information from which is why i just checked first but they they just have a long story here it just says interview security guard so it could be total propaganda right yeah made up from a you know you could ask ai to make up a story what it

[2:50:16] Right. Give me a good story to put on Twitter. Right. And then, yeah, just don't matter what they did. Have you tried to find it anywhere else? Is it only from this one guy? Yeah, that's what I was finding. It was Caroline Levitt. [2:50:26] shared it [2:50:27] And this is the... That's the main account where she shared it from? Stop what you're doing and read this. Nah. I Googled that and she said that a ton of times. How long has Carolyn Levin been the press secretary this whole time? Aren't they... [2:50:41] How quickly do they move past those? [2:50:43] They usually last about two years except for that last lady. Except for the last one, yeah. I wonder if that set a precedent. She decided to hang in there to bid her in. They were trying to get rid of her. She sucked. St. Pierre, right? Yeah, whatever her name was. It wasn't St. Pierre. It wasn't St. Pierre. I thought it was something like that. Karine Jean-Pierre. Okay, yeah. It was something Pierre. It was something Pierre, yeah, yeah. Bro, she was terrible. She did it forever. And again. [2:51:03] The president is committed. [2:51:05] The president, like she would do like the Obama thing with her fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the fuck out of here. They just try. She had to lie all the time. That's her job. She had to come for a dead person. Yeah. Yeah, that's hard to do. That's pretty like, you know, you have to keep juggling a lot to be like, oh, this dead person's still alive. I thought he was going to die like immediately after he left office. I'm like, he's going to die soon, like real soon. Yeah, it's kind of wild he's kept going. But every now and then they'll trot him out and he'll start talking. He'll be at an Eagles game. He'll be like, yeah, you know what's going on. [2:51:35] But every now and then, he'll talk. They still let him talk. There's been a few of those where he'll talk like, thank God you didn't win. Jesus Christ. If you came back, they never replaced Kamala with you, and you won, or you and Kamala, and you won, and you're this guy now? Yeah.

[2:51:54] Well, yeah. Well, he fucked them by... [2:51:58] Not bowing out. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, let him at least let him have a primary. Because then it just became Kamala versus Trump and the whole like, oh, vote for me to fight fascism. But no one voted for you in the first place. The thing is, if they had a primary, who do you think would have been it? They probably would have made her. The Democrats would have decided on her anyway, I think. Because it would have been too soon for Newsom to run. He still has that stink of COVID on him. So that's why he waited for this. [2:52:23] This go around. Yeah, it's been enough. People have forgotten COVID enough. It's been more than half. It's been half a decade since. People's minds, like, people's political memories are so short. [2:52:33] Yeah. That, yeah. 2028, that's so far away from COVID that he can just be like, "Ah, I did fine," or whatever the fuck. Do you think so? I think so. Enough to run, enough to probably get the nomination. You think he's gonna get the nomination? Who else? Who else? I feel like someone else can rise over the next three years. Someone else would have, if it had been an Obama thing, it would be like someone would be rising in this upcoming midterm. So if there's someone like that, maybe. [2:53:00] But – All it takes is someone who's a compelling speaker who's not demonstrably full of shit because the thing about him is he's so vulnerable to any kind of a debate. When someone starts talking about the fraud and waste in California, how about the high-speed rail? They spent billions of dollars. It was like nothing. Nothing. Like soon. We're going to get it done soon. Right. There's so much fraud, so much waste. Yeah, but I don't think they have anything because you can – right now all you can – you can just run on like I'm not Trump.

[2:53:30] Not Trump. What about that Josh Shapiro guy? The guy who's governor of Pennsylvania? [2:53:35] Maybe. I don't know. To me, it's just like a popularity contest, and he's making a lot of noise. A lot of people upset at the Jews right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a fair point. Yeah. That's a fair point. Shapiro? Hmm. [2:53:48] It just seems like – yeah, that's a good point. It just seems like he's the one making the most noise and we're getting towards crunch time. Not really, but like it's the closer we get to the midterms and there's no other big voice. [2:54:03] It makes me feel like it's going to be him. Well, clearly he wants to do it. He definitely wants to do it. [2:54:08] And he might just be powerful politically enough to win that nomination. Imagine if that guy fucks up San Francisco, fucks up California, and then goes on to fuck up the whole country. Oh, it's very possible. [2:54:20] Maybe not very possible, but I think it's an outcome. [2:54:24] It's now come. He's definitely running. It's going to be – I don't know what that ticket's going to be, but – They're going to make us all trans. Yeah. It's going to be like a Newsome Crockett. That's my early call of what they're going to try to run. No. Shut the fuck up. Are you kidding? Yeah, yeah. I think so. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's who they're – because she's very revered. Not AOC? AOC? [2:54:44] Maybe AOC. [2:54:45] I think AOC is more reasonable. AOC is much more reasonable. [2:54:49] Have you ever seen when Crockett and Marjorie Taylor Greene start going back and forth with each other, insulting each other and yelling at each other? No. Oh, yeah. I did see that. That's a very fun moment.

[2:55:02] Nobody wants to be a representative. That's the thing. It's like all these successful business people and academics. They don't want to do that. No. It's all like lawyers and like – And creeps. And creeps. Yeah. That's the only – well, it's like it's one of those things where – [2:55:16] You're right. The person who wants to do it probably isn't – or the person who should do it probably isn't going to want to do it. 100%. Because you do have to make decisions that negatively affect millions of people's lives sometimes. And you've got to grease the pockets of your donors. Yeah, and to be like a regular guy and want to do that probably would tear you apart. [2:55:36] to be like, here's a decision that will kill people. You've got to be kind of a sociopath. What's really fucked is how much of an impact people like us have on elections now. That's what's nuts. Like podcasters have a big impact on elections now. Which is really weird. That's how much the mainstream media has kind of lost its lead. Dropped the ball. Dropped the ball hardcore. Well, it's just by being unreliable. Like being people that you can't trust. And uncensored conversation is like people are going to trust them more. [2:56:06] more often than not. Yeah. Then like, oh, I can't say this because this sponsor is going to be mad at me. Right. [2:56:11] You know, like this is this is just a much more accessible way of finding out people's real thoughts. And a lot of it is just how we talk. [2:56:19] I mean, there's been so many times we've been in the green room that totally could have been a podcast. Right. Right. [2:56:25] Put a camera on it, live in the green room. It would fuck up the vibe. But it would be a great podcast. Yeah, it would. It would fuck up the vibe. Yeah, it would lose that quality that would make it a good podcast if we were trying to actually podcast. Yeah, definitely. All right, brother. Well, I'll see you tonight. I'll see you tonight. And tell everybody your special. It's out. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. It's called Too Soon. Check it out. I'm very proud of this material. It's great material, man. And you've been killing it. You've been killing it at the club. And the new stuff's fantastic, too. Thank you. And yeah, go to a side. Look at that hair.

[2:56:55] Yeah. Every time I've been on here, I've had different hair. Today I went cornrows. [2:57:01] Yeah. You've had the cornrows for a while now, right? Just a week or so. I did it for a sketch, and then I was like, I kind of like this. Yeah, it's crazy for this guy, this hairline to have cornrows. All right, my brother. Appreciate you. See you tonight. See you tonight. Bye, everybody. [2:57:25] .